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"The Super Beings Bureau Saga"

Stories in this series

A series of short stories about the Super Beings Bureau, someplace all super-powered types have to visit at one point or another, and Ann Miller, a long-suffering, perfectly ordinary person who wants to be a super hero in order to help people.

A Hard Day's Work
Magneto returns to the Bureau for the annual renewal of his super-being license.

So You Want to Be a Superheroine
A perfectly normal, well-adjusted woman named Ann applies to be a superheroine.

What They'll Do for Love
Sick of all the hurdles shoved in their paths, Rogue and Gambit demand a marriage license.

Office Gossip
The hard-working folks at the Super Beings Bureau discuss the most recent events at the office.

What's a Super Heroine to Do?
Trying to "help" Ann become popular, the Bureau places her with Generation X.

What a Super Heroine Should Be
The people at the Bureau make one last-ditch attempt to show Ann how to be a super heroine.

Power Hungry
Trapped in the office for nearly 2 weeks during a power outage, the folks at the Bureau -- and the long-suffering super beings who just came to renew their licenses -- must endure hunger, boredom and each other.

Clients of the Bureau visit the dentist. <Shudder>

A Super Heroine's Life
Ann Miller and Ms. Marvelous go on the Susan Smith Show to discuss their respective lifestyles as super heroines.

Ann Miller about Her Latest (blah-ish) Outing
While her frustrated Writer struggles to rewrite/revamp/redo/re-whatever Ann Miller's last appearance, Ann tells the folks at home what's going on.

Ms. Marvelous: The Early Years
(or: "So You Want to Be a Sleek Sex Goddess")
An intimate look at just how Ms. Marvelous got started in the superhero business.

Disclaimer: Ann and the Bureau are mine, the rest is Marvel's.
Lynx, thanks for the idea :)

The Bureau of Super Beings
Super Hero Division
Mutant Office


"Ann Miller."

"Ann Miller?"

"We aren't going to go through that again, are we?"

"Go through what?"

"You know, the 'Ann Miller isn't a good name for a Super Heroine' spiel."

"Of course not! Ann Miller is the name written on your Super Heroine Licence -- we can't change it."

"So what's the problem?"

"Once one has become a Super Heroine, they do not refer to themselves by their name -- they use a code name."

"Oh, I don't have one of those."

"You don't?!"


"Why not?!"

"I couldn't think of one."

"Didn't you look in the Big Book Of Code Names?"

"Yes. It didn't help at all. It was a real amusing read, though. Did you know that the name 'Plant Master 2000' is being used by someone?"

"That is not what we are here to discuss, young lady!"

"So what am I here for? And don't call me 'young lady'!"

"Well, we here at the Bureau believe that -- Where's your uniform?"


"Yes, uniform!"

"Oh ... Well, you see, my cat shredded it."

"Your cat shredded your Super Heroine Uniform?!"

"Yes. And did you ever notice those things don't come with cleaning instructions? It took me forever to figure out how to clean --"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure it's quite a fascinating story. But it's time that we moved onto the more important matters."

"I'm not stopping you."

"Yes well, you've been a Super Heroine for a month already. And to put it bluntly, you aren't popular."


"So to remedy that situation, we think that you should join an already established super team to boost your popularity until you can go out on your own."

"I don't want to be on a team!"

"Ms. Miller, in this matter, your wishes mean less than nothing. You will join a team!"


"Very good! Since you are a mutant, aged 13 to 19, we think it best that you join Generation X."

"Aren't they the ones with the Pooka and the space Dwarves?"

"Yes. As you can see, your stay with these young mutants sworn to protect the world that hates and fears them should be filled with fascinating adventures."

"No thank you! I'll pass."

"I'm afraid not. We have already booked an appointment for you with the headmistress of the school, Ms. Emma Frost."

Off to see Gen. X
Emma's Office

"Hello, Ms. Miller."


"Is there some sort of a problem?"

"You're one of those 'sleek sex goddesses' aren't you?"

"...That is what was written on my styling chart, yes."


"Now, the Bureau thinks that you will fit in nicely here."

"At least somebody does..."

"You don't wish to be here?"


"Perhaps a tour of our facilities will change your mind. Follow me."

At the Biosphere

"These are the students of Generation X."

"They're killing each other!"

"This is just a training session."

"Could have fooled me."

In the Biosphere



"Take that!"

~Watch where the hell you're shoving that thing!~


"Knock him out while he's down! Hurry he's starting to wake up!"

"Damn! There goes another uniform!"


Outside the Biosphere

"Are you sure they aren't killing each other?"

"Quite sure. They do this every day along with their academic courses."

"This? Every day?!"

"Of course! A well developed Super Person must be physically fit in order to--"

"Yes, I read the Super Person's Fitness Manual, too."


"Ouch! That's gotta hurt!"

"The students are perfectly adapt at handling these sessions. None of the injuries are permanent."

"I don't even like gym classes! No way am I going do this!" "Are you sure, Ms. Miller?"

"There's no doubt in my mind that I'd rather be doing just about anything but that!"

Back to the Bureau

"So how did your visit go?"

"Let's just say that there is no way in Hell that I'm joining those loonies!"

"Are you sure? There are a total of three people with accents in that group, three people with murky pasts, and a tortured former villainess -- it's the ideal group!"

"Forget it!"

"But ... But ... You're unpopular!"

"I'm perfectly content with that!"




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