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"The Super Beings Bureau Saga"

Stories in this series

A series of short stories about the Super Beings Bureau, someplace all super-powered types have to visit at one point or another, and Ann Miller, a long-suffering, perfectly ordinary person who wants to be a super hero in order to help people.

A Hard Day's Work
Magneto returns to the Bureau for the annual renewal of his super-being license.

So You Want to Be a Superheroine
A perfectly normal, well-adjusted woman named Ann applies to be a superheroine.

What They'll Do for Love
Sick of all the hurdles shoved in their paths, Rogue and Gambit demand a marriage license.

Office Gossip
The hard-working folks at the Super Beings Bureau discuss the most recent events at the office.

What's a Super Heroine to Do?
Trying to "help" Ann become popular, the Bureau places her with Generation X.

What a Super Heroine Should Be
The people at the Bureau make one last-ditch attempt to show Ann how to be a super heroine.

Power Hungry
Trapped in the office for nearly 2 weeks during a power outage, the folks at the Bureau -- and the long-suffering super beings who just came to renew their licenses -- must endure hunger, boredom and each other.

Clients of the Bureau visit the dentist. <Shudder>

A Super Heroine's Life
Ann Miller and Ms. Marvelous go on the Susan Smith Show to discuss their respective lifestyles as super heroines.

Ann Miller about Her Latest (blah-ish) Outing
While her frustrated Writer struggles to rewrite/revamp/redo/re-whatever Ann Miller's last appearance, Ann tells the folks at home what's going on.

Ms. Marvelous: The Early Years
(or: "So You Want to Be a Sleek Sex Goddess")
An intimate look at just how Ms. Marvelous got started in the superhero business.

This follows 'Power Hungry'.
Look! It's a summary and disclaimer in one!
Last time, Rogue (Marvel), Kyle Stone (mine), Pierre (mine), Jolt (Marvel), Ms. Marvelous (mine), Plant Master 2000 -- or Plant -- (mine) were trapped in the Super Being Bureau (mine) during a power outage (inspired by 11 freezing, miserable days huddled in the basement during Ice Storm '98).
Note: I started this story a long time ago, almost right after I sent out 'Power Hungry'. I decided it was about time that I finally get around to sending it out. It's rather pitiful, but what the heck, at least it's finally finished.

Jolt, the young, perky, innocent, all around nice girl from the Thunderbolts groaned pitifully, her hand resting against her cheek. Her tooth was throbbing painfully, and had been since her eleven day long ordeal in the Bureau had come to an end.

She had merely gone to the Bureau in order to see Pierre the Image Consultant for a new hairstyle and had ended up trapped inside the building, staying alive by eating more junk food in those days than she wanted to consume in a lifetime.

She made her way past the receptionist and into the dentist's waiting room where she came to an abrupt stop. Her eyes widened beneath her red goggle-like eye pieces. "Oh no!" she breathed unhappily.

Kyle Stone, the Bureau's 'Emergency Man' looked up at her soft exclamation and scowled.

Jolt scowled back. The Thunderbolts may have been the criminals, but Kyle was far more dislikable in her opinion (and everyone else's for that matter).

They were all there -- Ms. Marvelous was lounging in a nearby chair, casually flipping through a magazine. Plant Master 2000 was scrunched over in a corner, his leafy head plants wilting pitifully. And Rogue was waiting patiently, flipping through a trashy novel, The Southern Belle and the Cajun, Jolt read.

The only person missing was Pierre, the Image Consultant that had encouraged her to come to the Bureau in the first place.

"AAAARRGGGG!! No more, I beg you! WWWWAAAAHHHH!" Jolt blinked and stepped back warily at the sudden, agonized shriek emitted from behind the closed door that led deeper into the dentist's lair.

"Wat was dat?" Ms. Marvelous, she of the ever changing and stupid accent, gasped, crumpling her magazine in one trembling hand as her heavily mascara coated eyes darted around fearfully.

Kyle smoothed back his hair, trying to regain his look of oily confidence. "Pierre," he answered shortly, not bothering to look at any of them.

Plant trembled, the young leaves covering his otherwise bald head shivering with every deep shudder the pitiful figure took. "What are they doing to him?" he whimpered, frantically chewing on one bark-covered fingernail.

Rogue smiled at Plant reassuringly, or as reassuringly as she could considering that her eyes were nearly rolling back into her head at the thought of what Pierre was experiencing behind that closed door. "The dentist is just cleaning his teeth, Plant. There's nothing to worry about."

"Mon Dieu! Non! AAARRRrrgghh..."

Jolt fidgeted, her face taking on an unflattering green tinge. "Oh my..."

Kyle cast a carefully manufactured disdainful glance towards the girl.   "There's nothing to worry about. After all, the Bureau dentist is perfectly trained to deal with--"

"Bureau dentist?" Jolt squeaked. The shade of green infusing her face went up another notch. "This person works for the Bureau?!"

"Of course it's the Bureau dentist! Who else would have the expertise to deal with all of you?" Noticing that his fingers were going white, Kyle deliberately loosened his desperate hold on the arm rest of his chair. 'Although I don't know why they didn't let me go to a normal dentist ... one who doesn't like pulling teeth so very much. I think the Powers That Be just like seeing me suffer--"

Kyle's speculation was cut off as the door burst open, emitting a pale faced and weak kneed Pierre. His face was deathly pale, and his eyes were impossibly wide. He didn't hesitate more than a second before darting out into the waiting room and making a beeline towards the exit.

"That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence," Rogue murmured, silently debating whether a cavity or two was really worth wasting the dentist's time over...

A hulking figure lumbered into the doorway, a clipboard in hand.   "Rogue," it called out, gesturing towards her.

She froze, barely noticing the sympathetic glances cast in her direction. "But I don't like pain!" she wailed.

The dentist's assistant didn't bother to reply but rather grasped the mutant's arm and hauled her towards the door. It slammed shut behind them with finality, leaving the other occupants of the waiting room watched in stunned silence.

The oppressive silence in the room was finally broken by the sound of Plant's limp body hitting the ground.

"That's it," Jolt told herself. "I'm never, ever going to even look at another piece of junk food again!


Actually, I think that last line is pretty much the same one used to end 'Power Hungry'. Original, aren't I? :)


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