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"The Super Beings Bureau Saga"

Stories in this series

A series of short stories about the Super Beings Bureau, someplace all super-powered types have to visit at one point or another, and Ann Miller, a long-suffering, perfectly ordinary person who wants to be a super hero in order to help people.

A Hard Day's Work
Magneto returns to the Bureau for the annual renewal of his super-being license.

So You Want to Be a Superheroine
A perfectly normal, well-adjusted woman named Ann applies to be a superheroine.

What They'll Do for Love
Sick of all the hurdles shoved in their paths, Rogue and Gambit demand a marriage license.

Office Gossip
The hard-working folks at the Super Beings Bureau discuss the most recent events at the office.

What's a Super Heroine to Do?
Trying to "help" Ann become popular, the Bureau places her with Generation X.

What a Super Heroine Should Be
The people at the Bureau make one last-ditch attempt to show Ann how to be a super heroine.

Power Hungry
Trapped in the office for nearly 2 weeks during a power outage, the folks at the Bureau -- and the long-suffering super beings who just came to renew their licenses -- must endure hunger, boredom and each other.

Clients of the Bureau visit the dentist. <Shudder>

A Super Heroine's Life
Ann Miller and Ms. Marvelous go on the Susan Smith Show to discuss their respective lifestyles as super heroines.

Ann Miller about Her Latest (blah-ish) Outing
While her frustrated Writer struggles to rewrite/revamp/redo/re-whatever Ann Miller's last appearance, Ann tells the folks at home what's going on.

Ms. Marvelous: The Early Years
(or: "So You Want to Be a Sleek Sex Goddess")
An intimate look at just how Ms. Marvelous got started in the superhero business.

Disclaimer: If they work for the Super Beings Bureau, they belong to me. If they don't, they belong to Marvel.

Super Beings Bureau

Emily waved a group of Avengers towards the elevator which would lead them to the Non-Mutant Super Hero floor and turned her attention back to the book that she was reading. Or at least, trying to read.

The Bureau paid well (it had to, considering how high risk the jobs were) but sometimes Emily was tempted to give up on the money just for a chance for a little peace and quite.

A shadow passed over her desk and Emily's brown eyes rose to see Kyle Stone walking past. She rolled her eyes as he pushed through the crowded lobby imperiously. The man was one of the single most annoying people that Emily had ever had the misfortune of meeting. But, he was also necessary to the Bureau.

Kyle was their 'emergency man'. He handled all the super beings that had scheduled on short notice. It was a dangerous job as the people he went up against were usually even more bad tempered than the rest of the visitors to the Bureau.

Emily would have pitied the man if she hadn't disliked him so much.

The insistent ringing of the telephone drew Emily's attention away from Kyle's retreating form. She slid into professional mode and picked the shrill instrument up.

"Super Beings Bureau. How may I help you?"

"Emily? It's Pierre," a shaky voice replied.

Emily darted a quick glance at the loose watch hanging from her wrist. Pierre should have been in over an hour ago. "What happened, Pierre?" Emily asked, keeping the sigh out of her voice by force of habit -- It was best not to show any signs of irritation towards people capable of killing you with the slightest effort.

Pierre hesitated uncomfortably. "Well ... I accidentally ... while helping Ms. Pryde find a new uniform ... and she ... you see ... It was an accident!"

"Just like with Psylocke, right?" Emily asked. "Never mind, I really don't want to know any of the sordid little details. What did you want?"

"Sordid?!" Pierre echoed, sounding highly offended.

"You heard right, Pierre. Now talk or I'm hanging up, I'm a busy woman."

"I just wanted to inform you that Maria will be replacing me today. So let her in when she arrives. She'll have my head if she has to wait again."

"There she is," Emily answered, catching sight of the diminutive woman weaving her way through the crowds towards the desk. Without waiting for a reply, Emily dropped the phone back into it's cradle.

Maria smiled cheerfully as she unwound her thick woolen scarf. "Hey, Emily!" Maria leaned forward conspiratorially. "I haven't been in the building since last Monday -- tell me what's happened!"

Emily grinned and pulled out the thick notebook she noted all the juicy (and not so very) gossip down in. "Let's see ... you haven't missed much. Magneto attacked Kyle."

Maria snickered.

"Rogue and Gambit got a marriage certificate."

Maria's eyes widened in shock at that little bit of news. "Really? Didn't the Boss want at least five more years of the tortured love act from them before they would even be allowed to admit that their relationship could use a little bit of work?"

Emily shrugged. "Apparently, Rogue threatened to grind Kyle into a pulp and he gave in, as usual. The Boss was rumored to have been considering firing Kyle, but nobody else would have been willing to take his place."

"What else?"

"Well, you know that Pierre propositioned Shadowcat. So let's see..." Emily flipped through her notebook, bypassing the usual injury by irritated Super Being entries. "Ted from the Time Travelling Mutant Department and Julie from the Resurrected Mutant Department announced their engagement."

"That's good," Maria replied. She dabbed on a coat of lip gloss before continuing. "What about Andrew? Is he still on leave?"

"Yes, he won't be coming back until Rogue isn't angry at him anymore. Who thought that she would get so very angry just because he only coloured her bangs white?"

Maria laughed. "I think the Psyche department had a pretty good idea -- but we all know that emotional instability makes--"

"For an interesting Super Heroine," the two women ended together.

"Excuse me," a deep, grumbling male voice broke in.

Maria turned around to find herself face to abdomen with -- she craned her neck up -- Sabertooth. "Yeah?" she said, not at all impressed by the hulking, fanged man glaring down at them.

"I'm here to update my Super Mutant Villain Death Count File," he announced proudly. "I have an entire twenty new entries since the last time!"

Emily nodded, not even considering a reply to that piece of news. She checked her appointment book and found that Sabertooth was indeed scheduled for that hour. "That way," Emily informed the man, who had already begun to shove his way to the proper elevator.

"I'd better be going too," Maria said reluctantly. "I wouldn't want to be late my first day back." She offered a quick parting wave to Emily before disappearing into the milling crowds.

Emily picked up the phone that would connect her to the security station and informed them of both Sabertooth and Maria's arrival.

Before she hung of, David spoke again. "Did you hear about Simon from the Recruitment Center?"

Who needs peace and quiet anyhow? Emily thought, dropping her novel back into her purse before settling back to listen to whatever bit of gossip David had to pass along.




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