I know that I said that Ann wouldn't be
coming back for a while, but Lynx suggested this, so here
we go again :)
Disclaimer: Ann, Susan, and Ms. Marvelous live in the
Marvel Universe but belong to me. Ann's earlier adventures
can be found in "So You
Want to be a Super Heroine", "What's
a Super Heroine to Do?", and "What
a Super Heroine Should Be".
Susan is from "Image
is Everything", and "A
And the always annoying Ms. Marvelous can be found in "What
a Super Heroine Should Be" as well as "Power
A Super Heroine's Life
"Today," the smiling blonde woman informed her
audience, "we will be discussing different hero techniques
on the Susan Smith Show!"
Susan gestured towards the woman nearest her. "This
is Ms. Marvelous," she named the big haired, high-heeled,
spandex wearing woman. Ms. Marvelous smiled and nodded at
the audience, basking in the wide eyed glances directed towards
her impressive self.
"And this is Ann Miller," Susan stated, ending
the introductions. Her second guest had remained almost unnoticed
besides Ms. Marvelous' overwhelming presence. She was younger
than the other woman, and wore a simple pair of jeans and
"Ms. Marvelous," Susan said cheerfully, "tell
us about your methods."
"'Tis like this, madame. Ah was trainez by de Super
Beings Bureau to be da best Super Heroine dat Ah could possibly
be. Dat means that muh--"
Susan coughed softly and Ms. Marvelous came to a stop. "Ms.
Marvelous, for those in our audience who... can't quite hear
you, it would be best if you... lost the accent."
Ms. Marvelous nodded. "Of course! I feel so horrid that
such a thought hadn't occurred to me! I assure you that I
feel most unhappy that I neglected to consider the needs of
the poor souls seated further away!"
Ann rolled her eyes and sighed.
"As I was saying, I was trained by the Bureau which
means that my training was long and intensive. I learned the
proper way to dress, act, and speak, training which has helped
me tremendously during my career as an enforcer of good!"
"You mean it makes you sound like a fool," Ann
stated. The audience's attention swung towards the girl who
had questioned the training of a Super Heroine. Ann
fidgeted beneath the collective glare of the audience.
"Can you explain that comment, Ann?" Susan prodded
Ann nodded. "You don't have to have an accent, or a
dark past, or wear spandex to be a hero. Being a hero is far
beyond any of that."
"Oh?" Ms. Marvelous said, one thin firey eybrow
raising. "And what have you done since
you have received your Super Heroine Licence?" She turned
to the audience and smiled smugly. "I have battled and
beaten that vile mastermind -- Controlla!"
"I've helped rebuild communities, and talked to people
who have recently gained powers, or been caught in a super
powered fight" Ann responded hotly. "I've
done a lot of good, all you've done is beaten the exact same
villain dozens of times!"
"But I am the only one who can battle Controlla."
"Fine. I accept that it takes something to be able to
take down a powerful villain -- but what you do is just plain
ridiculous!" Ann shook her head in disgust.
"How do you stop villains?" Susan asked curiously.
Ms. Marvelous swung her long hair over her shoulder and smiled
at Susan. "It is a difficult task -- one which few people
are up too. It requires daring, stamina, bravery, and the
will to do good!"
"What she means is that she beats the villain until
he gives up," Ann said. "Probably while making stupid
jokes and quips."
"And what do you do as a licenced Super Heroine?"
"Like I said, I talk to people, I help them. If I meet
up with a villain, I try to talk to them. If that doesn't
work -- I knock them out as quickly as possible and bring
them someplace where they can be helped."
Ms. Marvelous snorted. "Helped?! Villains need only
to be stopped from destroying and killing people."
"And how many things have you destroyed during your
fights with Controlla?"
"That is different! Damage from a hero is much less
damaging than damage from a villain. Everybody knows that!"
Ms. Marvelous replied, looking highly offended.
"The training that Ms. Marvelous has received is useless.
Certain people at the Bureau molded her into what they think
a Super Heroine is," Ann said, ignoring Ms. Marvelous'
huffed protests. "She doesn't even have her own personality
-- the Image Consultant saw to that."
"I have a personality! A good one! One worthy of a Super
Ann shrugged, "What about your accents? And that you
never seem to be the same person from one encounter to the
Ms. Marvelous fumed.
"Let's move on!" Susan smiled. "How has your
chosen career affected your families? Ms. Marvelous?"
The woman burst into tears. After several loud sobs, she
calmed enough to answer. "That foul Controlla killed
my beloved!" she sniffled, dabbing at her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Susan said. Ms. Marvelous shrugged.
"My family and friends don't mind," Ann said.
"They haven't been threatened?"
"No. I don't make as much enemies as Ms. Marvelous does."
Susan paused, struggling to find a topic to point her guests
towards for the last minute of the show. "I hear that
you have a theme song, Ms. Marvelous," she addressed
the now dry eyed Heroine.
Ms. Marvelous nodded and began to sing. "Ms. Marvelous!
Oh Ms. Marvelous! She's the best! She beats the bad guys!
And always looks the best! Ms. Marvelous!" She grinned,
her head still bobbing to the music only she could hear.
Ann's lips twitched, barely suppressing a smile. "I'm
glad the Bureau didn't try to give me one of those."
"Only popular Heroines get theme songs!"
Ms. Marvelous sniffed disdainfully.
"I'm afraid we've run out of time to discuss this further,"
Susan told the two women. "It was a pleasure having you
both here." She faced her audience and continued. "Until
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