Generation X Presents:
A Short (and Somewhat Inaccurate) History of the X-Men
Chaos and hilarity continued to reign as a result of Cable's
stern denial of his involvement in the Inferno. During this,
the 'Nathan baby' doll was jogged out of Paige's hands and
chorused "Ma-ma" once more, prolonging the laughter.
Finally though, the tears were wiped from eyes and shaking
bodies picked themselves up off the floor and back into their
Eventually, Generation X were able to stand back up in some
semblance of their earlier poses.
"Ah... ah... oh the pain. Make it stop." Jubilee
clutched her sides as she tried to stop laughing. She took
a few deep breaths and straightened. "Where were we,
oh yeah, the Inferno." another few deep breaths.
"And so Madeline Pryor," Paige stumbled to her
feet, "prepared to do battle with her nemesis Jean Grey."
Penance watched as the others picked themselves up around
"Madeline was severely ticked off because Jean had taken
her entire life - her husband, and her child, away from her.
Finding out that she was a clone of Jean didn't make her any
happier. She was especially upset that her son Nathan had
cri... had called... ah ah aha ah... hadcalledouttoJeanforhelpandsoshe
triedtokillher." Jubilee took a deep breath, "Phew."
Paige let out a screech and ran over to Penance, and grabbed
her shoulders gently. Then she froze.
The audience waited patiently. Nothing happened. After about
a minute they began to shuffle around and look at Jubilee
expectantly. Jubilee watched Paige and Penance intently. After
another two minutes of this, Bobby finally piped up.
"Hey, what's going on."
"Duh, they're battling it out telepathically stupid."
said Jubilee. "Ssh, you'll distract them."
Bobby subsided, looking puzzled. Just then all of the watching
Generation X gasped in shock, ten seconds later, Paige crumpled
to the floor.
"What? What? What happened?" squawked Sam.
Jubilee looked sad, "And so Jean Grey was triumphant
over Madeline Pryor, who was killed in their battle."
Paige stood up and dusted herself off as the other members
of Generation X crowded around her.
"Wow Paige, that was brilliant," said Skin. "When
you hit her with that attack I thought it was all over."
"Yeah, and that block - smooth moves Hayseed."
"Penny you were FANTASTIC! The way you hit her at the
end was just... incredible!"
"What are you all talking about?"
"The telepathic battle of course," said Jubilee.
"Weren't you paying attention? And we worked so hard
Generation X looked completely downcast. Paige looked on
the verge of tears.
"Er no, it was great!" said Sean. "Fantastic."
"Well done," agreed Roberto, "Couldn't have
done it better myself."
"Excellent work." added Bobby.
"Really?" gasped Jubilee. "Oh, you don't know
how much that means to us." Generation
X all nodded furiously.
"I think we've been had." said Hank quietly to
"Oh my yes." she replied with a smile.
Joseph and Gambit started applauding furiously and the others
all joined in, many openly grinning at the way they'd been
Generation X bowed and waved, basking in the applause. They
started to move offstage.
"Hang on!" said Jubilee. "Where do you lot
think you're going?"
"To... get changed for the next segment?" suggested
"We haven't finished this one yet."
said Jubilee, "Get back to your places."
"But... but the demons are all gone!"
"All but one all too human demon." Jubilee corrected,
GenX took up various poses around the stage.
"Madeline Pryor lay dead, the demons vanquished. All
seemed still, but there was one final evil to defeat!"
The lights went out, a spotlight clicked on and a shadowy
figure stood towering over GenX. His head seemed shaped strangely
A gasp rose from the audience. The figure raised its arms
and Synch cried out and fell to his knees.
"I... am..." the figure paused...
"MITHTER THINITHTER?" repeated the entire audience
in tones of shocked incredulity.
"What, ith there an echo in here?" asked the figure.
The lights clicked back on and Franklin Richards adjusted
the square helmet he wore and wobbled on the step ladder.
"Jubes, are you quite sure about the lisp?" asked
Skin in a harsh, carrying whisper.
The audience broke up.
"Oh god oh god oh god," Scott panted. "If
I ever see him again I'm not going to be able to keep a straight
'Mithter Thinithter!' BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Now, that's not very polite Jubilee." reproved
Sean, before cracking up.
"Ah well, got a laugh didn't it?" Jubilee shrugged.
"It just had a nice ring to it I thought. So anyway,
Mith... I mean Mister Sinister had revealed
"Yeth... I mean yes!" Franklin piped up. "It
I did it all! I set you up when you were a kid, I ruined
your life, nyah nyah nenny nyah! I ate the last cookie in
the cookie jar! I alphabetised your files! I broke your glasses
and overfed your goldfish, me me me!"
"Why you... you EVIL FIEND!" cried Synch as Scott.
"AND I was the one who recorded over the
season finale of Black Adder before you could watch it!"
Cries of "Monster!" from the audience.
Franklin warmed to his role.
"It was me that rang you up at 3 in the morning to ask
if your lights were burning! I defrosted your fridge. I swapped
your jamaican coffee for instant!"
"AAAH! NOOOO! EVIL EVIL EVIL!" screamed Warren
from the audience.
"I was the one who put a crease in your
special limited edition issue one of The Special Ones!
I took your entire Archie run out of their mylar bags and
put em in ordinary ones! I got your cat high on catnip! It
was me who put the magnet in with your computer disks! I copied
your essays and sold them to other students! I put the itching
powder in your shorts! I watered your pot plants with beer!
The audience booed and hissed.
"And finally," Franklin leant forward. "I
created a clone of the woman you loved so that I could get
a baby of your genetic material. And what are you going to
do about it, huh?"
"GET HIM!!!!!" roared the 'X-Men' and 'X-Factor',
launching themselves at Franklin. Skin lunged forward and
tripped on his trailing fingers, falling flat on his face.
Mondo tripped over him and landed on top of him, bringing
M and Leech down with him. Artie jumped in to help and was
squished by Paige (now revived and playing the role of Rogue).
Franklin raised his arms, "I am triumphant."
"Scott!" squeaked Jubilee in a high voice from
behind Penance, who was still being Jean. "We need Scott!"
"I'll get him," said 'Havok' (Jono). He stood in
front of Synch, who was kneeling and watching in horror.
"Come on big brother, you've got to stop him!"
"I... I CAN'T!" cried 'Scott'.
"Oh yes you can!" yelled Jono.
"Oh no I can't!"
"OH YES YOU CAN!" yelled Jono and the entire audience.
"Quick, clap if you believe in fairies!" said Jono.
Everyone stared at him. "Sorry, wrong genre." He
turned back to Scott.
"Scott, you have to. Come on, think of all the things
he's done to you. Don't you even feel a little angry?"
"Hmmm..." Jono shook his head. "I'll just
have to annoy you into getting angry then." he leaned
forwards. "People who leave their shoes all over the
"Yes," 'Havok' continued relentlessly. "People
who use forks instead of knives, and who don't use napkins"
Scott in the audience was indignant, "I'm not like that!"
Jono looked at him, "Oh yeah? What about people who
change lanes without indicating?"
Scott looked taken aback, "But that's just pure rudeness,
and anyway..." Jean patted his hand. Jono turned back
to Synch. "Unironed shirts."
"Recyclable objects put in with the rest of the garbage."
"It's proNUNciation, proNUNciation!"
Jono thought quickly. "Free Willy!"
"Read my lips: no new taxes."
"I mean it!"
Jono leant close. "No one can stop me brother. From
here on, it's just you... and I."
"You and me. You and ME! IT'S YOU AND
ME!!! AAAAAAHHH!! I HATE THAT!!!"
Synch surged upright and threw himself at Sinister.
Franklin was picked up and thrown off the stage. Several
X-Men fell over each other to catch him. Franklin waved his
fists from Hanks seat. "I'll be back!" he yelled.
"You haven't heard the last of.... MITHTER THINITHTER!!!!!"
The audience cheered and applauded as Franklin shook his
fists and Synch and GenX shook theirs back.
"And that takes us up to the end of the Inferno!"
cried Jubilee. "Back in ten for the next saga of the
Continued in Chapter
Coming soon: Part 8: Australia
again and the Siege Perilous
Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction /
Fan Artwork / History Books /
Photo Album / Songbank /
Miscellania / Links /
Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof
are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an
unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by