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circa UXM #353

Stories by Dyce

"Armageddon Postponed until Later"
After His seventh day of rest, God surveys the world He has created and asks -- "Just what the hell happened here?"

"Dispensing the Shopping"
After doing a shopping run for the team, Scott distributes the resulting packages.

"Falling in Love for the First Time"
Beast helps Marie determine the root of her inability to control her powers. Movieverse.

"Falling in Love Again"
Logan falls in love. Movieverse. (Sequel to "Falling in Love for the First Time")

"Teabag Trauma"
Kitty introduces Pete Wisdom to the rest of the X-Men -- as her husband. Part of a larger series.

elsewhere in Alykat's World:

"Bobby's Rebellion"
A short poem describing a young Bobby's attempt at freedom during the early days of the X-Men.
(at (un)frozen)

"A Certain Face"
Two parts Hank, one part Shakespeare. Poetry.
(at Stars & Garters)

"A Friend, Sleeping"
As he carries a sleeping Bobby upstairs, Hank ponders how someone so seemingly mirthful could be so lonely and sad.
(at (un)frozen)

"Gone, but Not Forgotten"
Shortly after learning of Bastion's kidnapping of Jubilee, Bobby calls Emma up to see how things are. Part of a larger series.
(at (un)frozen)

"I Do Not Love Thee, Mr. Twinkie"
An ode to unhealthy snack foods.
(at Stars & Garters)

"A Homely Touch"
It's true love for Hank and the other X-Men when Sally moves in and begins to take care of them all.
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)

"The Road Not Travelled"
When he and Bobby visit a Greek cafe, Hank marvels that this is the first time he's gone someplace in full furry glory and hasn't been stared at. (An alter-universe companion to "A Homely Touch")
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)

"A Long and Winding Road"
After months of weekly visits to her family's restaurant, Hank agonizes over whether he should ask Sally out. (Sequel to "The Road Not Travelled")
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)

"The Lecture"
Hank puts on his sternest face to deliver a lecture about the dangers of ill-timed pranks.
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)

"Magic Breakfast"
Hank marvels at some of the "strange" happenings that occur at everyday X-Men breakfasts.
(at Stars & Garters)

"Making the Call"
Hank calls Cecilia to tell her something important.
(at Stars & Garters)

"The No Story"
Hank and Cecilia try their hardest to ignore their attraction to each other.
(at Stars & Garters)

"Not a Creature Was Stirring"
Christmastime has come, and the X-Babies, under the direction of baby Hank, have come up with a plan to keep the Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies from stealing their presents this year.
(at Stars & Garters and The Danger Playpen)

"The Oath"
Hank expresses his sorrow and grief over Bobby's death. Poetry. A sequel of sorts to "First, Do No Harm" by Poi Lass.
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)

"Such Sweet Sorrow"
Bobby upgrades from his old computer to a newer, more powerful machine. He doesn't take the change very well. Sillyfic.
(at (un)frozen)

Driving at night on a secluded road, Bobby considers doing something rash, then decides against it.
(at (un)frozen and Stars & Garters)


Web site: Dyce's Corner

Author's note: Not mine, not even slightly mine, don't even own their shoes, honest. Not making any money, just cheap thrills. And I know this Note is long, but I hardly ever do that, so you can all just grin and bear it. Anyway, two things.
1: Storm, too, is oft-demonized, in her case into a screaming harridan hidebound bitch-troll mother-in-law from hell. However much some of us dislike her (put that knife away, Lynxie, we can all see you), she's not really THAT bad. Unless Lynx writes her, in which case she's worse. But anyway, one point that was raised in the recent characterization debate was her fic-canon loathing of Pete Wisdom, which in MU-canon has never even been hinted at. However: We do know that Storm a) hates and resists change, b) is possessive of Kitty, and c) wants Piotr and Kitty back together again. (See Issue # ) Basing her characcter on these three important points, let us see how the story unfolds.
2: While I realize that this cannot possibly compete with a story of the calibre of 'The One Eyed King', this story is dedicated to and for a certain Poi. A good Poi. A *loyal* Poi. A Poi who continued to want, and indeed demand more of MiBM even when I thought everyone had lost interest. A truly most deserving Poi, whom we all appreciate, isn't that so? Enjoy the story, little Poi, and may you never suffer from the dreaded TT.

Happy Families

Teabag Trauma

Teabag Trauma {tee-bag tror-ma}: 1. The emotion experienced when the teabag falls off its little string into the cup of boiling water on a freezing cold morning when one is only half awake and desperately in need of tea only the teabag's still in it and fishing it out with a teaspoon while in that state is just too complicated, dammit! 2. Phrase used to describe a completely mundane, unthreatening domestic crisis that nevertheless totally devastates everyone involved.

Some days just don't start right. In fact, some days start wrong whole weeks in advance, so that by the time dawn arrives there's absolutely no hope of the day being anything other than a complete disaster. Take, for example, a certain Tuesday morning at a specific mansion on a particular road called Greymalkin Lane...

Rogue wandered downstairs in her nightshirt, rubbing her eyes blearily. Tea. Her hair was still mussed from sleep, and only her invulnerable skin had prevented pillow creases. Tea. Yawning, she headed into the kitchen, only one thought drifting around inside her head, and getting quite lonely. Tea. After a moment, another thought appeared to keep it company. Tea. With sugar.

"Good morning, Rogue."



Kitty and the strange man blinked as, scream stopping as suddenly as it had begun, Rogue proceeded to plug the kettle in, ignoring them completely. It was not until she had located a clean mug, carefully dropped a teabag into it, and located a teaspoon, that she turned around and looked blearily at them. "Kit?"


"Why is there a strange man in the kitchen?"

"Rogue, Pete Wisdom. Pete, this is Rogue."

"Pleased ta meetcha." Rogue waved a bit. "Ah'd shake hands, but Ah can't, so Ah won't."

"Fair enough." Pete didn't seem to think this was at all odd. "Any chance of coffee?"

"There's some coffee-bags in th' cupboard." She wandered over to sit down at the table, still holding the teaspoon. "You're Kit's boyfriend, huh? Th' one she's been not-missin' at people."

Once again, Pete had no trouble following her train of thought, since Rogue-talking-while-asleep thought the exact same way as Pete-talking-while-drunk, only with more yawning and fewer hand gestures. Pete spoke fluent Incoherent, and had quite a good understanding of Utterly Clueless. "That's me. Only I'm not 'er boyfriend anymore, 'cause we got married. 'm 'er husband now."

"That's sweet. Ah'm happy for ya both." Sleepy as she was, the congratulations sounded sincere. Slurred, but sincere. "Does anyone know yet?"

"Just you and Piotr." Kitty breathed a tiny sigh of relief. If even half the X-Men took the news as calmly as this, Pete might just survive the morning. "Piotr ... uhm ... left. He's gone to-"

"Don't tell me," Rogue yawned. "He's gone ta find out who he really is and whether or not he can continue as an X-Man. Been there, done that, bought th' shirt. It'll do Petey good ta get away f'r a while, Ah think. Did you want coffee too?"

"That'd be nice. Uhm ... I don't think he plans to come back," Kitty said cautiously.

"Who doesn't?" Marrow stood in the doorway. "And what are you doing back here? I thought you'd gone."

"Colossus and I came back." Kitty glared at her. She'd hoped that coping with Marrow would be avoidable until later, if not altogether. "Pete, this is Marrow."

"The bloody-minded foul-mouthed little psychopath with a rat fetish?" Pete had gotten a run-down on the X-Men's current roster on the plane. "Oh good, I'll have company."

Marrow looked pleased at the description. "You reek, upworlder. Kitty-cat not got you licked clean yet?" From her, it was a positively friendly greeting. Fortunately, Pete also spoke Rude Bastard like the born one he was.

"Not all of me, anyway." He leered at Kitty, who blushed. "You don't smell great yerself. Got a smoke?"

"Don't think you're getting one, old man." Marrow opened the fridge and pulled out a cold steak from a pile of leftovers, then sat down at the far end of the table to eat it without benefit of knife, fork, or plate.

"Cheeky little sod," Pete said amiably, and proceeded to ignore her. "Rogue, innit?"

"Mhm." Rogue's head was drooping slowly towards the table.

"Kettle's boiling."

"Whuh? Oh, thanks." Rogue dragged herself out of her chair and turned the kettle off, pouring hot water into her cup and beginning the methodical teabag-jiggle necessary to the Good Cup Of Morning Tea. With her other hand, she filled two more mugs with hot water, dropped coffee-bags into them, and passed them over to Pete and Kitty. "Marrow? Want anything?"

"No." Marrow gnawed on her steak.

"Ya sure? I got some more of them little Swiss Miss packages," Rogue offered helpfully.

"Don't want any." Marrow scowled, turning her back on Rogue. How on earth was she going to maintain her tough reputation in front of the new guy with Skunk-Girl offering her hot drinks? Really, it was just plain inconsiderate.

"Surprise, surprise." Rogue shrugged, dropping her teabag into the bin and reaching for the sugar jar. She ladled about half of it into her cup, added a slosh of milk, and sat down again, pushing both milk and sugar over to the newly-wed couple. There was a brief silence, which was not only broken but irretrievably smooshied when Kurt bounded into the room.

"Good morning!" he carolled happily, then stopped dead in mid-bounce when he saw Pete. "Pete! It is wonderful to see ... uh ... Kitty, is it a Good Thing that Pete is here?"

"Yes, it is. A Very Good Thing."

"Oh good." Kurt beamed. "I will deny saying this, Herr Wisdom, but it is very good to have you back. Kitty has been utterly miserable without you."

"I've been miserable without you." Kitty trailed one finger down her lover's chest, cuddling close to him.

"Me too." Pete kissed the top of her head, too exhausted for the moment to do more. "Don't you ever do that again."

"I won't." She stretched, arching her back like a cat. "But we do need to talk about where we're going to go from here."

"We do?" Pete tried to ignore the sudden sinking feeling in his stomach. That sounded like the start of an About Our Future talk. It wasn't that he didn't love Kitty, he adored her, it was just that he wasn't very good at the C word. To be perfectly honest, he couldn't even spell it.

"Yes, we do. For a start, all my stuff's still in New York," she pointed out, propping herself up on one elbow and looking down at him. "One of us is going to have to move. And if I move here, I'm probably not going to find a free mansion with meals laid on."

"You could live with me!" Pete suggested, brightning. "My flat-"

"I've SEEN your flat. I may not know much about interior decoration, but I'll lay money the walls weren't that colour when you moved in." Kitty shook her head, sitting up. "Besides, the shower's too small for both of us at once."

"True." Pete abandoned that idea. "We could get another one, then."

"And do what?" She grinned, running a suggestive hand up his leg. "I mean, spending the whole day in bed is fun, but we can't keep doing it forever."

"I'd be willing t' try it..." Pete said wistfully, then nodded resignedly and sat up. "Well, way I see it, we've got three options. You stay here and get regular work, you stay here and we form a partnership, or you drag me back to New York and let the Spandex Brigade wipe the floor with me. Me, I like the idea of workin' together, but I'm open ter suggestion whether it's here or there."

Kitty blinked. "Pete ... you hate the Spandex Brigade. You always say they're a bunch of-"

"I know, I know, but I can put up with it." He sighed, dragging one hand through his hair. "I just want yer t' be happy, luv, and I know how much you miss yer family. As long as we're together, I don't care if there's one or a hundred empty-headed muscle-brained body-condom-wearing wankers around."

"Oh, Pete, that's so sweet..." Kitty threw her arms around his neck, kissing him enthusiastically. He kissed her back, and that went on for quite some time.

Later, when they were peacefully curled up together again, the conversation resumed. "I did always plan on going back," Kitty admitted, twining her fingers around his. "I do have a responsibility to the X-Men."

"You were?" Pete fought to keep the forlorn confusion out of his voice. She'd said she wouldn't leave him again ... "Without me?"

Kitty giggled, craning up to kiss his cheek affectionately. "No, silly. I was going to drug you and smuggle you home in my carry on luggage."

"Oh." He relaxed slightly. "So ... will it be all right f'r me to be there? I mean, 'ow are they going to handle you bringin' yer stinky ex-spy boyfriend home?"

"Oh, they're going to hate you," Kitty predicted cheerfully. "But if they'll let Marrow stay they'll take anyone." She frowned a little, her small fingers fiddling with a lock of brown hair. "I think we might need some insurance, though."

"Like wot? Should I get me bulletproof vest out?"

"That's a good idea too." Kitty sat up, looking down at him with a speculative expression. "Pete? Do you love me?"

"Yer the light of my life, Pryde, y'know that." He squeezed her hand gently. "I'd do anything f'r you."

Her face cleared, and she smiled sunnily at him. "Oh good. Let's get married, then."

"WOT?" Pete squeaked, and fell out of the bed.

"You're married? Katzchen, that's wonderful!!" Kurt beamed. "I admit, I would have liked to be there, but spontaneity is a wonderful thing too. May I kiss the bride? See the ring? Threaten the husband with grievous bodily harm?" Kitty giggled, kissing him on the cheek and holding out her left hand. Kurt returned the kiss and fussed admiringly over the plain gold band before turning to Pete. "It's about time you made an honest woman of our Shadowcat. Congratulations!" He slapped Pete firmly on the back, then kindly helped him up off the floor.

"Uh ... thanks, Wagner, but it was Kit who made an honest man out of me." Pete rubbed his shoulder, wincing. "I never woulda 'ad the nerve ta bring the idea up."

Kitty eyed her ring complacently. "Actually it's more of a precaution. This way nobody can kill him."

Nightcrawler winced, lightheartedness vanishing like a popped balloon. "Uh ... speaking of which ... have you seen Piotr yet?"

"Yes," Kitty nodded. "He wished us well, and I'm sure he meant it sincerely. He's ... uhm ... he's left, Kurt."

"Really?" Marrow piped up with interest. "I didn't even know they were together!"

"I didn't mean he's left KURT, Marrow, I meant he's left the team!" Kitty scowled.

"Oh, so he and Elf-boy haven't broken up?"

Rogue looked up from her tea and blinked. "Kurt? Ah didn't know you and Petey were an item. Why didn't ya tell me?"

"We're not!!" Kurt's normally blue face blushed bright purple. "And what do you mean he's left?"

Rogue looked puzzled. "But Marrow just said-"

"He's not happy, Kurt. He doesn't like being an X-Man." Kitty sighed. "He feels trapped."

"That's a good reason to leave a relationship," Marrow agreed, grinning. "Too bad, fuzzy. You'll meet someone else."

"Marrow, cease and desist immediately." Kurt gritted his teeth. "I have not had, nor have I ever intended to have an affair with Piotr. Now be quiet and eat your dead cow."

There was a long pause, in which several more members of the team drifted in, operating on the extremly sophisticated and devastatingly accurate team radar which indicated that while Things Were Afoot, they would still be afoot later, but the last box of Pop-Tarts would only go so far.

When all the current roster except for Gambit were present - Gambit ate his breakfast in private, preferring to let the hangover wear off before interacting with live people - Kitty stood up. "Okay, guys, let's get this all over in one go. Everyone, this is Pete Wisdom. Say hello."


"Hello, Mr Wisdom."


"I want you all to be nice to him. We got married yesterday."

"I'm curious. Is there any particular reason for the hurry? I mean, I didn't even know you were together again." Romany sighed, resigning herself to being towed along behind her little brother. "Is she pregnant?"

"Don't think so. Can't those old bones walk any faster?" Pete tugged on her arm.

"Not comfortably. Never thought I'd see you get married." Romany grinned. "You sure she isn't pregnant?"

"No, she isn't, but that won't stop her family from killin' me if I don't make an honest woman of 'er." Pete shrugged philosophically. "Least it'll keep her around."

"I don't believe it ... My brother, Pete Wisdom, he of the iron heart, steel will, and filthy personal habits. With a pretty, respectable girl like that," Romany marvelled. "You 'aven't told her you've got a secret fortune or something, have you?"

"No. She likes me f'r my personality."

"WHAT personality? Did you go and grow one without telling me?"

"Oh, shut up." Pete scowled, towing her around a corner. "I only told yer I was getting' married 'cause we need a witness an' Kitty said she didn't want none of the blokes from the Crown..."

"I don't blame her one bit. Did you have to be so rude to Kiri, though?" Romany shook her head. "I just know she was offended by the way you dragged me off without explaining."

"I was. I'm not now, though," a spectral voice informed them from above. "Want me to come too?"

"Thanks, but best not, I think." Pete spared a brief glance upwards. "Nothing personal, but Kit's got a thing about vampires."

"It's not unusual." The misty figure shrugged her slender shoulders. "I'll let you tell her about me after the wedding. Rom, I'll be in the Dungeon Dimensions if you want me." She vanished in a puff of fog.

"And you complain about the company I keep..." Pete muttered.

"MARRIED?!?!?!" Beast, Cyclops and Jean exclaimed in ragged unison. Kurt beamed. Storm's jaw dropped ever so slightly. Rogue ignored all of them and continued to sip her tea. Sugar. Antioxidants. Mm.

"Yes. See?" Kitty held up her hand. "So none of you are allowed to hurt him."

"Married, huh?" Wolverine looked up, rising briefly out of the mire of depression that usually surrounded him."You happy?"

"Yes." Kitty nodded and smiled, taking Pete's hand in her own.

"He treat you right?"

"Always." She nodded again.

"Good." Logan's eyes wandered away and he stared silently at the table, once again lost in his own private purgatory.

Kitty's eyes filled, and Pete squeezed her hand gently. She'd been so hopeful that the wedding might help her teacher out of his funk. Pete had been more than willing to do whatever it took to help, too. He'd only met Logan a couple of times, years ago, but after what Kitty had told him he'd been worried about the old man. "I'll look after her, I promise."

The words didn't have their hoped-for soothing effect. Instead, Logan shot him an anguished look, stood up so fast his chair fell over, and bolted out of the room. Pete winced. "That was the wrong thing to say?"

"Logan is ... not at his best just now. There has been a family crisis of sorts." The woman who, going by Kitty's description, had to be Ororo, spoke for the first time. Her voice was decidedly chilly.

"Yeah, I know. Kit told me."

The chill turned to pure ice. "Kitten, you should not have told this ... man about a purely X-Men concern. It is a family matter."

"Well, I sort of had to explain why I suddenly turned up on his doorstep and asked him to take me back." Kitty's tone was instantly defensive. "He's my husband, Ororo, he's entitled to know."

"Does anyone else want coffee? I want coffee." Scott switched the kettle on again. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm sure I can't handle it without coffee."

"Handle what?" Storm gave Kurt an inquiring look. "What is going on, Kurt?"

"The painter left the fuzzball," Marrow explained helpfully. "He was feeling stifled in the relationship."

"What relationship?" Jean frowned and rested her chin on her hand, her hair still ruffled from sleep. "I didn't know they were together."

"We weren't!" Kurt blushed again. "Marrow is making the whole thing up!"

Rogue looked up from her tea. "That's right ... You're still with Amanda, aren't you?"

"Ja, I am, and very happily so." Kurt shot her a thank-you-for-saving-me-I-love-you look.

"My mistake. He's still screwing his sister." Marrow tossed the bone from her steak in the general direction of the bin, and stole Kitty's coffee. "But the russkie's definitely gone, right?"

"Yes, Marrow. Piotr has left." Kitty glared. "Now give me back my coffee."

Marrow smiled sweetly, spat into the cup, and held it out. "Here."

Storm spoke over Kitty's outraged squeak with a sterner but no less outraged tone of voice. "What do you mean Piotr has left!? Why?"

"'E wanted to leave, so 'e left." Pete shrugged and sipped his coffee. "None of ours, right?"

Storm - for she was very much Storm just now - narrowed her eyes. "He left ... as you and Kitty arrived?"

"Just after..." Kitty trailed off. "Oh, no ... Storm, it wasn't like that. It didn't have anything to do with us-"

"How can you say that? You came here with that ... that MAN, and he left! I knew he must still have feelings for you-"

"I thought that was over too." Jean rubbed her face with her hands. "Can people please start TELLING me these things?"

"It IS over. A long time ago," Kitty said firmly. "Piotr was happy for us."

"Uhm ... I am somewhat confused," Beast admitted. "Kitty and Pete are now married, correct?"

"Correct," Kitty agreed.

"Is that a good thing?"



"See, this is the part that's confusing me." It was much too early to use long words, even for Hank. "Am I supposed to be happy, or not?"

"I'd like to know that one too." Scott agreed. "Before I go to visit Bobby, if possible, so I can explain it to HIM."

Jean nodded. "Okay ... Kitty says we should be happy about it, and I guess she'd know ... Storm, why aren't we happy about it?"

"Because ... because she is too young!" Storm explained, her sleep-fogged mind coming up a little short on the details. "And ... and he is a criminal, and a terrorist, and a spy-"

"Hi, sugah. Join the ranks."

"That's right, Kit said you used to fight for the Dark Side. What changed yer mind?"

"The tea's better heah."

"Good reason." Pete sipped his coffee, and sighed happily. "Don't drink any of McTaggert's coffee, though ... I swear, that alone's enough to turn you to the dark side of the bloody Force..."

"It might be a bit early to say this, but I like him." Scott volunteered. "Have you seen Episode One yet?"

"Not yet. Pryde said we'd go when we got here." Pete sat up, an evil gleam in his eyes. "Hey ... I got a friend who can steal a copy ... can you rig up that Danger Room thing to make it into holograms?"


"Only if I get to be Qui-Gon."

"Suits me, I wanna be Palpatine. Or maybe Darth Maul. Hey, Pryde, wanna be that Amidala chippie?"

"But..." Storm actually stamped her foot.

"Boys ... you can play Star Wars later." Jean patted her husband's shoulder. "Let's let Storm talk about what's bothering her, okay?"

"Of course, dear." Scott smiled at her. "Storm?"

"How can you just sit there!?" Storm demanded. "This ... man has obviously seduced Kitten into an unsuitable relationship, taking advantage of her innocence and-"

Scott spoke over the indignant exclamations from both Pete and Kitty. "I know how you feel, Storm, I really do. Believe me, I reacted the exact same way to Domino."

"You did?" several people chorused.

"Okay, I didn't make an issue of it, but it bothered me a little, all right? Anyway, I know how you feel, Storm, but interfering won't help. You have to let them jump out of the nest ... eventually."


"Besides, I'm sure Pete isn't as bad as all that. Kitty's a smart girl." Jean put a gentle arm around Storm's shoulders. "We know how you feel ... it's hard to let go, even when your baby's six and half feet tall with white hair." She smiled fondly.

"But she and Piotr loved one another so..." Storm said plaintively.

"And she and Pete love each other, too. Believe me, I can tell." Jean shot an amused look down the length of the table, where a spirited conversation was taking place.

"-only if I can be Darth Maul."

"Pete's already called Darth Maul."

"So what? I'm the only one at this table with bones sticking out of my head, and I want to be Darth Maul!"

"Oh, let 'er 'ave it. I'll be Palpatine."

"Can Ah be Obi-Wan?"

"Yer a girl, ya can't be Obi-Wan!"

"That's sexist, Pete. Besides, the only good girl part is Amidala, and I'm being her. Rogue can be Obi-Wan if she wants to."

Jean chuckled fondly. "Storm, he likes Star Wars. He's practically one of us already."

"No he is not." Storm insisted firmly. She stood up, and reached for the kettle. "Would you like some tea, Jean? I feel the need for something soothing."

Pete looked at Kitty's uncompromising expression and sighed. "Oh, all right, the stripe can be Obi-Wan. Hey, blue-guy-I-ain't-been-introduced-to-yet-"

"Henry McCoy. Hank."

"Right. Yer the resident tinkerer, right? Think you and Pryde could whip up some real lightsabers?"

"Only if I can play too."

"Okay ... um ... is anyone being Mace Windu yet?"


"You know, the leader of the Jedi."

"Oh, I see. I would be delighted to play him, then."

"Right, that's settled ... as long as I get a lightsaber too."

"Does Palpatine HAVE one?"

"Dunno. So what? It was my idea, I get one."

"Hey, does this mean I get one of those double-ended ones? Kewl!"

Storm shuddered. Jean gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sure they wouldn't."

Rogue, it seemed, agreed. "Hank, ya can't give Marrow a double ended one, Ah don't care if her character has one!"

"I'm not even sure I can make a single ended one yet."

"Yeah ... when yer good enough with the single ended one, then we'll see about getting' yer a double."

"Says who?"

"Says me, 'cause it's my mate wot's gonna steal it for us."

Scott could restrain himself no longer. "I want one too. A red one."

"Only the bad guys have red ones."

"So what? Everything I see is red so I want red. And don't think about trying to trick me and tell me it's red when it isn't, because I'll get Jean to check."

"I want a red one too!"

"Why am I not surprised? Very well, Marrow, if we can make them red, I'll give you both a red one."

Storm poured boiling water into her cup, and dropped a herbal teabag into it. "Jean, I simply cannot believe that this man is good for my Kitten."

"Maybe she'll be good for him." Jean offered softly.

"I do not care, Jean." Storm's voice was icy, and getting progressively louder. "I cannot and will not approve of this match, and-"

"Who asked you, Ororo?" Kitty flared, obviously not as engrossed in the lightsaber argument as she'd seemed. She stood up, glaring aggressively at Storm. "I love Pete, and he loves me, and we're happy, and I want you to be happy for us but I don't need you to approve!"

"But Kitty-" Storm said patiently.

"But nothing! He's my husband and you can just ... just LIVE with it!" Kitty stamped her foot. "I'm not your little kitten anymore, and I can do what I want to with my life!"

Storm's eyes filled with tears. How could her Kitten attack her so? "I only want what is best for you, Kitty."

"Pete IS what's best for me," Kitty said more quietly, but no less firmly. "I love him, Ororo. And Piotr and I were never, ever going to get back together."

"But ... but..." Ororo looked around. They were all against her. Kitty had turned on her, And ... and ... and her teabag had just fallen off its little string.

She set the mug down carefully, walked out of the room with all the dignity of the goddess she had once been, went upstairs, and locked herself in her room. Outside, a sudden hailstorm erupted.

Everyone tried to talk her out again, of course.

"She's sulking." Rogue sipped her third cup of tea, and wriggled her toes in her woolly socks.

"She's upset," Jean said reprovingly.

"Like Ah said, she's sulking," Rogue nodded. "You know how much she hates bein' thwarted."

Pete sipped his third coffee, and sighed. "She's gonna keep this up until she gets 'er own way, eh?"

"Usually." Rogue liked Pete already. He'd offered to lend her his copy of the Phantom Menace book to help her get into character.

"Well ... reckon she'd be up for a compromise?" Pete asked reluctantly. "Fer Kitty's sake, you understand."

"Maybe ... what'd ya have in mind?"

"Storm?" Rogue rapped hesitantly on the door. "Are ya in there?"


"Well ... um ... we talked about it, an' Pete really wants ya ta be friends, for Kitty's sake, so...


"Pete says you can be Mace Windu if ya want."

"I thought Henry was playing that part."

"Nah, thassokay, he says he'll be that weird alien guy instead."

"Oh." There was a moment's silence behind the door. "Do I get a lightsaber too?"

"Whatever colour ya want," Rogue promised.

"Well..." There was another pause, then Storm opened the door, dressed in the white tunic and brown cloak of either a Jedi or a die-hard fan. "It had better be a blue one."



Well ... this turned out a lot less serious than I planned it. Guess now you all know I can still write humour, huh?

More stories in this series, "Happy Families," can be found at Fonts of Wisdom.


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