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Post-Onslaught

Stories by Northlight

"Crisis"
On one bright, beautiful morning, the X-Men awaken to face their deadliest foe ever: bad hair.

"Inquiring Minds"
A mysterious figure decides to "tell all" about the secret lives of the X-Men in a bestselling book.

"Just in Time for Christmas"
Gambit is rescued in Antarctica -- by Santa Claus?

"Love and Pain"
Stuck in the "waiting room" between appearances in their respective series, Gambit and Angel (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) compare notes on their respective problems.

"Reunions and Other Troubles"
The sequel to "Love and Pain," Gambit and Angel escape from Limbo and are reunited with their respective love interests.

"Maybe Just a Little Strange"
The true origin of Wolverine is revealed.

"Nothing More"
In response to Alara Rogers' challenge to kill off one's favorite character, Northlight writes her own version of Rogue's death as a result of Dr. Agee's "cure."

"Of Cooties and Dice"
Rogue, Jean and Storm get a little too involved in their board game.

"One of Those Days"
An evil villain attacks -- and so does Murphy's Law, as the X-Men suffer multiple "insignificant" inconveniences on their way to the battle.

"Reflections"
Sitting on the roof, Rogue looks back on what really happened in Antarctica as she tries to avoid the other X-Men.

"Searching for Justice"
A man tries to seek justice for the death of his sister as a result of Dr. Agee's "cure."

"Sightings"
A woman named Lindsey, with the unique power of appearing to be whoever someone else wants them to be, meets a frantic woman on the street and walks into another case of mistaken identity.

"Skin Crawl"
A unique take on Rogue's feelings toward her powers.

"Small Problems"
Rogue awakens to the incessantly annoying attempts of a misguided mosquito to get a morning snack.

"Substitutions"
Realizing the sheer stupidity of fighting in the dead heat of summer, Magneto and the X-Men decide to get slushies together. Since TheAudience still needs to be entertained, the PTB find replacements for the heroes and villain.

"Summer Vacation"
In a follow-up to "Substitutions," the X-Men prepare to go on a real vacation and leave their "replacements" in charge of the Mansion.

"That's What Happens"
Wondering about the practicality of Rogue's skimpy little outfit in UXM 353-4, Northlight writes her version of what could happen if Rogue's not careful...

"The Super Beings Bureau Saga"
A series of short stories about the Super Beings Bureau, someplace all super-powered types have to visit at one point or another.

"The Susan Smith Show"
A series of talk shows in which various super hero-types discuss the issues that affect their lives.

"Touch"
For someone like Rogue, the sense of touch can mean any number of things.

"Untitled Random Mutterings"
A series of vignettes in which Rogue deals with engagement, marriage, parenthood and growing older.

"Watching from a Distance"
We all know how the heroes feel. But how about their parents? This story is from Rogue's mother's perspective, as she watches her daughter grow up through news reports and newspaper headlines.

E-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca

Web site: Northlight's Page

Disclaimer: Marvel's.
More fluff -- this time for Indigo's challenge.



Rogue stared into her mirror, aghast. This couldn't be happening to her! It couldn't! But as hard as she tried to deny it, that stubborn lock of hair right in front of her left ear was still sticking straight out.

For God's sakes! I'm an X-Man, we never have bad hair days! Rogue thought, disgustedly tugging at her hair. She grabbed her brush and brought it down over the unreasonable lock of hair. Several hopeful swipes of the brush later, her hair was still shooting out from it's fellow locks.

Okay, stay calm. This is nothing to worry about. Find the gel. Pick up the gel. Open the gel. Slop it on my hair. Rogue's teeth ground together. Not only was her hair still sticking out, it was now sticky.

Calm ... Calm ... Sawing my hair off will do absolutely no good whatsoever ... Calm ... Deep breath ... Rogue's hand shot out, picking a barrette up off of her dresser. She grinned and stabbed it through herhair, clenching the annoying lock of hair between its plastic teeth. Rogue patted it down, and let her hand drop.

A scream tore out from her throat. It was still sticking out! Was there nothing that could salvage this situation?

Rogue ripped the barrette from her hair and angrily flung it away, with a bit more strength than necessary seeing as it ended up embedded in the wall. Rogue ignored it and moved onto another possible solution, desperately hoping that this time, her hair would do what she wanted it to.


Joseph's eyes peeled open at the enraged shriek ringing through the mansion. It took a moment to place the sound as the verbal expression of Rogue's ire. He sighed and wearily rubbed at his bleary eyes.

They'd all expect him to go see what had gotten Rogue into such a state at -- Joseph rolled over and glanced at his clock. 6:30, the steady red number proclaimed. Joseph groaned and dropped back down onto his bed. Rogue could deal with it herself.

'What?!" Joseph thought, the strange pulling on his hair drawing his attention away from his desire for sleep. His hand grabbed a chunk of hair and pulled it over his shoulder.

There was a pink, gooey substance tangled in his long white hair. Gum? I don't chew gum! Joseph thought even as he tried to pull the offending stuff out of his hair.

It didn't budge.

How humiliating! The thought of his teammates faces when he went downstairs with gum sticking to his hair was enough to make Joseph's desperate struggles increase.

I bet that I never had *this* problem when I was Magneto. But more importantly, how do I get this stuff out?!

Joseph struggled desperately to find any knowledge of what to do in such a crisis. Butter? No, peanut butter! he thought triumphantly as a smidgen of advice came to him.

Now, to get downstairs and to the kitchen without anyone seeing him...


Betsy groaned as she stared into the mirror, recently occupied by a distraught Rogue. Please me be imagining things.. She moved in closer to the mirror.

Oh no! She hadn't been imagining. There were several grey hairs weaving their way through her dark purple hair. I'm going grey!

Betsy resisted the urge to panic. Instead, she dropped down and riffled through the cabinet under the sink. There had to be something in there that could fix this, at least until she had the opportunity to find a permanent solution.


Gambit screeched as his comb hit yet another snarl. That was the fifth one he had run into in the last minute.

He cursed as he tried to move his comb and found that it was stuck in the tangled mess that his hair had become. That's it -- I'm never going to bed with wet hair again!


Charles sat at the kitchen table, the newspaper spread out before him and a cup of steaming coffee within easy reach. As of yet, the room was still lacking any other occupants.

The shrieking and general horrified emotions floating around the mansion gave Charles some clue as to what was occupying his X-Men.

At that moment, Beast came into the kitchen, followed by a hesitant Joseph. Charles blinked at the sight of the young man. "Joseph?" he inquired, trying to keepthe laughter out of his voice.

Joseph merely snivelled dejectedly.

"He had gum in his hair," Beast answered shortly, as solemnly as possible. "And tried to remedy the situation by placing peanut butter over it."

Charles nodded. "I see."

Rogue was the next to make her entrance. She glared at them before a word could be said about the towel wrapped around her head. Seeing as she looked ready to pummel the first person who said anything to her, Charles wisely restrained from speaking to her.

He couldn't stop himself from staring at the next sight which met his eyes that morning. Jean and Betsy came into the room, deeply involved in an argument. What surprised him was the fact that Betsy's hair was red and Jean's was streaked with grey.

"--Used my dye!" Jean snapped angrily.

"How was I supposed to know that you were going grey!"

Their argument broke off when Gambit tried to quietly and unnoticeably sneak into the kitchen and grab an apple.

"Is that a comb stuck in your hair, sugah?" Rogue asked, looking at him with wide, curious eyes.

Charles grinned and leaned back to enjoy the show. Yes, there were definitely benefits to being bald.

 

~End~


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