DISCLAIMER: The X-Men and everyone
else appearing in this story belong to Marvel. I doubt that
they'd like what I've done with their characters, (if they
did I'd be very, very scared) but I'm not making any
money off this story. Please let me know if you want to archive
this. MSTings and Pop-Ups are okay as long as I get a copy.
CONTINUITY: This story takes place some time before
Onslaught and Uncanny X-Men #350, but after X-Men #45. Continuity?
From me? You'll have to be satisfied with that. Oh all right.
Joseph is a youthified amnesiac Magneto and Wolverine is still
Just when you thought the Gambit/Rogue relationship couldn't
be messed up any further I come along. This story was inspired
by several recent discussions on OTL and a probably psychotic
Rogue flew through the air above the mansion, exulting in
the warm sunshine and the sensation of the wind pressing against
her body like the lover she could never have. It was the one
part of her powers that she loved. Sometimes, when she was
up here alone, she almost felt it was worth absorbing Carol
Danvers, having so many stolen memories in her head, just
for this. Until she came back down to earth, where he
was. But for now she was free from worldly concerns. She tried
A voice broke in on her musings. "Rogue, much as I am disinclined
to disturb your airborne acrobatics, you have an appointment
Rogue sighed and replied to her com-badge. "Ah'll be right
there, Beast." Diving, she pulled up at the last moment to
land gracefully on grass that was still wet from the morning
dew. With the Professor still away at a conference in Washington
she'd needed a short break from the inevitable chaos.
"Ah, there you are, Rogue," Beast greeted her, as she entered
the med-lab and sat down on a bed with hospital corners. Once,
when she'd first joined the X-Men, she'd tried dropping a
dime on the crisp white sheets to see if it would bounce.
It had actually sprung back up further than the height she'd
dropped it from! Such things tended to happen when there was
a telekinetic like Jean around.
Beast finished the notes he'd been making and smiled. "Until
now we've been unable to get the blood we need to do an in-depth
genetic profile because of your invulnerability," he said,
snapping on his gloves, "Now, I know you've refused to wear
a Genoshan collar..."
"NO! Ah'm not wearing one of those thangs."
"I wasn't suggesting it," he protested mildly, "I think I've
found an alternative."
"Oh. Sorry, sugah, bad memories."
"It's quite understandable," Beast reassured her, "After
Logan's disastrous encounter with Magneto I had Forge use
some of the adamantium to make a set of hypodermic needles."
He pulled out the biggest, shiniest needle Rogue had seen
in her life and grinned evilly. "Hold still, this won't hurt
"There, see, that did not cause you undue distress, did it?"
A silent accusing glare was the only response he got.
"Yes, well. This part could take a while. You could abide
in the waiting room if it appeals to you. I understand that
some of the magazines are less than a year old."
Rogue left, still clutching her arm. Sitting down she began
leafing through an old edition of Time magazine. Apparently
they'd just landed on the moon. A loud "Oh dear," was suddenly
heard to come from the med-lab. Beast nervously opened the
door to find the entire team in the waiting room.
"What's wrong? It isn't Legacy, is it?"
"She ain't pregnan'?"
Sam quickly hid the shotgun behind his back.
"Is it contagious?"
Bishop levelled his plasma rifle at Rogue "She's a plant,
isn't she? Just like Mondo. Traitor!"
"Oh, yeah. It's obvious she's going to turn into a pumpkin
at midnight. Cut down on the caffeine, will yah?"
"For cryin' out loud. Be quiet, y'all, so'n Ah ken find out."
Beast looked embarrassed. "Ummm ... according to these results,
Rogue, you're the third Summers brother."
There was a shocked silence.
"Don' you mean sister, mon ami?"
"Er ... no. Brother."
"Yes, someone appears to have played a practical joke. I'll
have to take another blood sample."
"Arrrgh! When Ah get mah hands on the person responsible..."
Beast hurriedly retreated back into his laboratory, having
got the blood he needed, and with the threat of being turned
into a throw-rug hanging over him. "I wonder which one of
my esteemed associates is responsible for this incident? Kitty,
Rogue glared at the X-Men who were trying unsuccessfully
to hide their expressions. "It ain't funny!"
Gambit leant over and breathed into her ear, "Remy t'ink
dey be socks, chere. Maybe he want t' play footsie, non?"
"Can it, cajun. Ah said it ain't funny."
Tension in the waiting room was high as they waited for Beast
to repeat the test.
"You know," Bobby pondered, "This might not be such a bad
They waited. Silently. The only sound that could be heard
was the clacking of needles as Storm started another row on
the baby booties she was making. But that's a different story
Finally Beast re-entered the waiting room. Apart from being
blue his face had also turned several interesting shades of
white and red. "It appears that the first analysis was not
erroneous. Rogue is indeed a Summers," he paused, "and she
is also a man."
"What!?!!!" Scott screamed. "As if this family isn't screwed
#Scott!# Jean mentally admonished him. #Be
nice to your sister... I mean brother... whatever.#
"Sorry, Rogue. It just slipped out."
Rogue sobbed, "Ah can't believe this is happening." 'She'
fluttered 'her' eyelashes at Joseph. "Do Ah look like a man?"
"Well there is that excessive bodily hair thing," he replied
in shock. Finding out that your girlfriend is a Summers can
do that to you. "Ummm ... er ... I mean no. Of course
Rogue gave him a cold glare. "We'll talk later, sugah."
Scott, after a bit of mental prodding from Jean, tried a
calmer approach. "Ummm, well, welcome to the family, Rogue,"
he smiled in what he thought was an encouraging manner.
"Ah'm a Summers! Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"
Jean glaring at her husband, tried to calm Rogue down. "Why
didn't you ever tell us, Rogue?"
"...I never knew! Waaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Jean concentrated. "Hmmm... there appears to be a mental
block. Strange that the Professor never noticed it. There.
That should ... Rogue? Are you all right?"
Rogue stopped crying. 'Her' face was frozen in shock. "Ah
remember. Ah remember it all. Even when Magneto an' Ah made
love in the Savage Land."
Joseph turned white. "We did WHAT in the Savage Land? Arrrgghhhh!!!"
He rushed for the bathroom. "Soap! Soap!!!"
Rogue watched him go, vaguely disappointed. "Ah suppose y'all
want to know
how this happened," 'she' began, "It all started with a kiss..."
In an underground base that had, on a whim, been built in
Phoenix, Sinister watched the events unfolding on the monitor
in front of him with satisfaction and sighed nostalgically.
Ah the delight he had experienced with the invention of silly
"... an' then, when Sinister got a hold of me, Ah got these."
Betsy whispered snidely to Storm, "I always knew they were
Storm raised an eyebrow. "This is coming from you?"
Rogue faced Gambit, 'she' knew 'she' had no chance with him
now, but he at least deserved to know the truth. "Mah real
"Dat's all right. Remy got a confession to make too. You
know how Betsy's underwear keeps disappearing?"
Betsy broke off her exchange of abuse with Storm, furious.
"You stole my underwear!?! Behold my psychic knife, the focused
totality of all my..." she stopped, confused. "Wait a minute.
I don't wear any underwear."
Warren looked flustered and started preening himself nervously.
Bobby gave him a sympathetic grin.
Remy tried a different approach. "Rogue, you know 'ow my
body armour is pink?"
"I'm gay. Will you marry me?"
Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction /
Fan Artwork / History Books /
Photo Album / Songbank /
Miscellania / Links /
Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof
are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an
unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by