I decided to write a half depressing fic.
I was kind of in this sad mood and so if it's messed up don't
blame me. The timeline is somewhere between Antarctica and
when Remy came back. Don't ask for anything more specific
'cuse I don't know myself. Comments are welcome, flames are
sent back to sender so you can look at it and think how (if
I sent this to you) you would feel. PS the main character
DISCLAIMER: This is a test. If you actually read this
junk then you need help. Since I don't want to get sued I'll
say, "The Xmen are Marvels. "The Rose" belongs
to Bette Midler." Ok I said it.
"Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender
Someone has left the stereo on again. I think it must have
been Jean, no one else listens to music like what's on now.
Music that wrenches my heart from deep beneath the ice I've
placed over it. She doesn't mean it, I know. But it still
tears my heart from places I've tried so hard to hide it in.
"Some say love it is a razor that leaves our soul
Won't someone turn off the music? It hurts so much, just
to think about him. My mind has banished my heart from its
domain, so that I may think without misery running my life.
I feel the warm caress of tears running down my cheek. The
only caress I can feel, without shame. I do feel as if a razor
has slashed my soul. Maybe it was my own razor or his. Whosoever
it was it has left me trailing blood every move I make, every
step I take I must force myself to go on. It hurts, oh how
it hurts. Especially in those dark hours at night when even
the most unworthy of creatures are allowed a moment of peace.
"Some say love it is a hunger an endless aching need"
I want to cover my ears. I know that if I do though, the
song will still haunt me. My need for love, for him, will
never go away. I want to caress him so badly, I want......
What does it matter what I want I'll never get it.
"I say love it is a flower and you its only seed"
I could leave the room. I silently threaten the music to
leave. I want it to stop bringing up memories long forgotten.
Stop shoveling for my long ignored passion. Why won't it stop?
Every note of music sends a shudder through me. Why would
someone write a song that makes every string in my heart and
soul ring in harmony? Every word seems to be sung in his voice.
Please stop, I beg.
"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns
I danced! I silently shout. I danced! And all I thought was
true was taken away! The music ignores my silent shouts. It
keeps playing and each moment wakes more and more of me. My
sensible mind tells me that if it brings me so much pain I
should turn the music off. I can't. My soul and heart are
using this to wake me to unshell my other emotions from icy
"It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes
A dream, I think to myself, a dream that's all it ever was,
I took the chance and now am paying the consequences. My heart
and soul fight back refusing the ice I try to bury them with.
I am to tired to try very hard to bury this tidal wave of
emotion. This song, this retched song has woken what I have
strived to bury. Yet I can not hate it. The emotion has laid
in dormant to long.
"It's the one who won't be taken who can not seem
How much do I have to give to fit your need? I angrily ask
the song. I gave my heart, I gave emotions I shouldn't have
let loose. Emotions that should be locked up, not given away.
It hurts to think about how much pain I could have been spared.
Firmly my heart tells me to not listen to the voice of 'what
if'. I am beginning to feel like my mind, body, soul and heart
are each different people. My mind and heart being the most
"And the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to
I am overwhelmed by the memories of times when I did live.
When most of my emotions weren't wrapped in ice. Memories
of him, of who I thought he was, or maybe who he was. I feel
a burning inside me, the emotions have grown. They have turned
into a hurricane, each demanding attention first. The tears
roll freely down my face, in some way my body is trying to
soothe the hurricane. It can not see that this is like telling
a wolf to sit, like a puppy.
"When the night has been too lonely and the road
has been too long"
The night has gotten lonely every day I've been without him.
Yet I know my road still has a long way to go before we are
joined again. My nights are covered in a darkness without
stars. My nighttime stars dimmed each day until they faded
altogether. My feet are tired of walking, long ago my shoes
have worn away. Now I must keep walking barefoot, in a starless
"And you think that love is lonely for the lucky
and the strong"
I know it is. The hurricane has turned into a tropical storm.
It still wreaks havoc but I can no longer feel the damage.
If love were for the unlucky it would stretch beyond ages,
so that everyone was sure that through loss and gain love
would always be there for them. If lover were for weaklings
then it would be their strength, always supporting them. But
it isn't for either. Maybe it is, for some unlucky and some
weaklings have felt true love and held it. I don't know any
"Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter
snows lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring
becomes the rose"
Maybe my spring will come again. I hope so.
Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction /
Fan Artwork / History Books /
Photo Album / Songbank /
Miscellania / Links /
Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof
are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an
unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by