Disclaimer: All characters belong
to Marvel. Some scenes are copied from Uncanny X-Men #375
and #376 and are used in my original story. I am not being
paid nor receiving any kind of profit. No one is to copy,
print or re-write this story without my permission. No one
else shall make any profit from this story. Consider all other
relevant disclaimer stuff said.
This is an alternative story based on certain events in issues
#375 and #376 of Uncanny X-Men.
He had to know. There hadn't been any time to talk to Rogue
privately since that stunt Xavier and the other telepaths
pulled, and Remy was tired of waiting, wondering. He had to
know. Xavier had sent out a message requesting everyone to
come to the briefing room. Remy didn't really have any intention
of going but he though Rogue would go, even if it was to finally
say her peace and leave, so Remy positioned himself in the
corridor and waited.
"Hey chere. Long time, no see." Remy said with
"Gambit...?" Rogue came to an abrupt halt and turned
to face him.
"A guy could get the idea you're avoidin' him Rogue
... Maybe feelin' kind o'awkward after dat psychodrama nonsense
Xavier put us t'rough to test our loyalties? Dose mind games
o' his messed wit' our heads big time, girl. I'm guessin'
we BOTH might've said some t'ings we didn't mean." This
is it, he thought. Remy wasn't aware he was holding his
"Yeah, it was pretty intense, all right. But ... Ah
think maybe it clarified a few things 'tween the two of us.
What ah said ... it really never will work, Remy. Maybe it's
time we both admit that." Rogue looked away, waiting
to hear Remy's agreement. Since the entire Antarctic thing,
Remy had never been able to tell her his feelings were still
there for her. They had both been put through the wringer
by what Xavier had done, but, that type of situation was NOT
what she wanted Remy basing his feelings for her on.
"Hang on dere, are y' ... y'mean, y'really t'ink ...
it's over?" The last words were barely more than a whisper.
All the air rushed out of him. He felt deflated, adrift. Fool,
he thought to himself, why didn't you tell her how
you felt before this? She doesn't believe the things I said
to her. Why should she? She gave me several opportunities,
and I side-stepped all of them. Of course she is going to
believe I said them out of guilt or some twisted sense of
chivalry because I thought she was dying.
"I ... " Rogue was interrupted from saying whatever
it was as Kitty and Peter came down the hall.
"C'mon guys ... better get a move on. The Professor
wanted us all in the briefing room ten minutes ago."
Kitty said. It wasn't the usual "Kitty" tone of
voice, though. She had sounded sarcastic, as if some morbid
sense of humour wanted her to add, "and you know what
he's done in the past to test our loyalty, think of what he'll
come up with for being late to a meeting."
Rogue raised herself into the air with a "Gotcha Kitty."
"Right. Gotcha." Remy said but his comments were
to Rogue, not Kitty. He started after the three of them, not
caring where he was going anymore.
"Wait." Rogue said landing in front of him. Kitty
and Peter also came to a stop. "No, you two go on. Remy
and ah have to talk."
"Do you wish us to ask the Professor to wait for you?"
"Nah, ah don't care. If we miss somethin' will ya fill
us in later?" Rogue responded but maintained eye contact
only with Remy.
"Da. Of course." Peter nodded. He and Kitty continued
on, leaving Remy and Rogue alone in the hallway.
"We need ta talk Remy," she said quietly after
Kitty and Peter disappeared from view.
"Why? Seems ta me you say everythin' ya mean ta say."
Remy didn't mean to sound so offish. He was cursing himself
thinking he had just blown his opportunity to convince her
that he had meant every word he had told her and that he regretted
not telling her sooner. That he was going to prove it to her
if she would just give him one more chance.
"That's just it. I haven't said everything I mean ta
say. I don't think you have either. Ye see, I promised mahself
I wasn't gonna run away anymore. But, here ah was, nearly
doin' just that. Will you talk ta me?"
Hope began to bloom in his chest, but, he tamped it down.
He wouldn't allow himself to rush ahead foolishly. She just
wanted to talk. That didn't mean she was changing her mind.
They entered the computer room back down the hallway and
sat down facing each other.
"Look Remy, ah'm sorry about what ah said just now.
It wasn't exactly what ah was trying ta say. We keep dancin'
round each other without ever sayin' what we really mean y'know.
We both been hurt by things in our pasts that we get our feathers
ruffled pretty darn quick and make assumptions about things
that were never said. When that's not the issue, it's usual
that ah go and use mah powers as a huge shield to hide behind
every time ya start gettin' too close to me. Ah never have
said ah'm sorry about that. Ah am you know. Sorry that is.
Ah wasn't being fair ta you or mahself. Ah'm thinking you
sort of do the same thing though, except that it's when you
start to feel happy and good about yoahself. You feel guilty
about what happened with the Morlocks, and that you don't
deserve ta be happy. So when ya do, you pull away from me
and tell yoahself it's what ya deserve. Am ah right?"
She had certainly gotten to some core problems, that was
for sure, Remy thought. She was being very honest about herself
and him. He couldn't be anything less. "Yeah, yer right
chere. I never looked at my actions dat close before but,
y'right. De t'ing is though, that I know I ain't good enough
for ya. I'm jus' a t'ief."
"Oh pu-leeasse. Don't fall inta that nonsense. If we
really got down ta comparin' notes about our pasts, ah'd knock
ya on that very cute butt of yours. It's why ah know how you
feel and why you act like you do about the Morlocks. It's
how ah felt for the longest time about Carol Danvers and what
ah did ta her. Ah still haven't totally forgiven mahself but,
ah have finally put it behind me. I guess ye could say I've
come to terms with some of the things in mah past."
"So what ARE ye sayin' chere? Dat y'willin' to give
US another chance?"
"Ah don't know. Ah'm still scared, and ah have ta admit
that those head games of Xavier's really messed me up again.
With the kinda stress we were under, all our emotions were
raw and exposed ... "
"An' y't'ink, dat maybe my feelin's were only as strong
as I said 'cause of the scenario we were in is dat it?"
Remy asked. Rogue nodded mutely.
Remy nodded his understanding "It's 'cause I didn't
tell you how I was feelin' before dis stuff 'appened right?
All dose times I should have told you how much I still cared
about you and didn't. Anyt'ing I say now is kinda tainted
isn't it?" he asked sadly.
"Sort of. It's what ah was really trying ta say earlier.
Well actually ah was tryin' ta do two things. One was the
old hidin' behind mah powers and offerin' ya a way out if
you knew what you had said about lovin' me was a mistake.
It would be easier to blame it on mah powers than know ya
didn't care about me anymore. The other was that ah think
maybe we could end up rushin' back into things too quickly
again. Like we did the first time. We have ta face facts Remy.
Right now ah still don't have any control of mah powers and
ah don't know if ah ever will."
Remy looked as though he was going to protest but Rogue put
a gloved finger against his lips to stop him. "It's a
real possibility, and ah don't think either of us has really
thought about it and what our options are or what the implications
of it can have on our future. As much as you have protested
in the past that it don't matter to ya; at least not yet,
it keeps poppin' up in mah mind. Ah see Scott and Jean holdin'
hands an kissin' and ah want that for us too. But right now
all ah see is the future with nothin' but unfulfilled hopes
and dreams. Of seein' yoah love turned ta pity or even worse
if ya grew ta hate me, for all the time ya could have been
with someone who could give ya everyt'ing you deserve and
"Now who be talkin' nonsense girl." Remy raised
a gloved finger and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her
ear. "Ah we're a fine pair arn't we chere. So noble and
always t'inking of each other. I t'ink we bot' need to look
a little closer to home first neh? We bot' so scared of bein'
hurt in love, scared dat we settin' ourselves up for failin'
and heartbreak, we're not even really tryin'. We're our own
worst enemies. I t'ink maybe I know what you were sayin' earlier
now. I know I don' want y't'inkin' dat my feelin's for you
are anyt'ing less dan 100% true. I wan' to express dem over
time, prove my love for you. I don' wan' you to 'ave any doubt
because de only time I tell you 'ow I feel is during ONE overly
emotional and stressful situation. Dat isn't fair. To eit'er
of us." Remy smiled slightly, hope taking a tenacious
hold and refusing to be controlled. He waited for her response.
"You are a very smart man Remy Lebeau. Ah mean, deep
down ah knew ah was tryin' ta protect mahself, but, ah hadn't
looked at it as bein' as selfish as it is. If we had only
talked like this months ago, we would have saved ourselves
so much grief and pain." Rogue shook her head with a
mixture of sadness and regret.
"So what do ya think we should do now?" she asked.
We. It was an amazing word. That word, cancelled out things
like 'alone', 'self', and 'me'; suddenly, he was a part of
something, he 'belonged'.
We. It was a beautiful word.
"I want US to keep talkin' like dis. I want US to stop
playin' all dose silly games we been playin' and say what's
really in our hearts. I want US to try to be the best US there
"Ah think we need ta take this one step at a time. Remy,
we have to look at this logically. We can't be as frivolous
as others. We have some real issues to consider. Things that
have a very big impact on our lives whether we are together
"Well now. I t'ink maybe I have an idea or two 'bout
some of dese issues chere. Let's go away for a while. Jus'
you an' me."
"Remy if you're not gonna take this seriously ... "
"I am serious chere." Remy cut her off. "T'ink
'bout it. Scott an' Jean, dey go off to be by demselves. To
connect. Same as Warren an' Betsy. Why shouldn't we? We can
talk until we're sick of it. We can also use de time to learn
about ourselves and what we want but, we would still be dere
for each other at de same time chere. Please, say yes."
He looked into her eyes and willed her to see into his heart
"Ah won't lie ta ya Remy; Ah'm still scared. Of trying
Rogue paused, trying to gather her thoughts. Remy felt his
stomach tighten into a knot.
Finally, Rogue continued, "It's not going to stop me,
though. Ah think yoah worth tryin' for. Ah think ah'm worth
trying for. Ah think we should go now though. Especially after
the madness goin' on around here lately."
She smiled at him. It was the first real smile he had seen
from her in days, if not weeks. He wanted to jump up and cheer.
She believed in him enough to try for something better. She
was willing to put aside her own fears for him. He was both
elated and humbled by this woman he loved. He wouldn't fail
her. Not again. He knew what he was going to do too. He was
going to tell her everything about his connection to Sinister,
his feelings about his 'family' and Belle. He was also going
to convince her to let him help her control her powers.
Remembering her request about leaving immediately, he paused.
"I don' t'ink we should leave jus' yet chere. We got
one more t'ing to take care of before we go. We got to tell
de others how we feel about what happened de other day. Dey
'ave to know what dey did was wrong and can't be forgiven
on dere 'sorry'. Dey have to know 'ow we feel chere."
He was speaking from his heart, and she knew he was right.
It wouldn't fix things or put things to right. but, if they
continued to avoid the others, the anger and resentment would
fester and grow. They would tell the others how they felt
and let the dice roll where they may, so to speak. The ball
would be in their court then. Remy knew neither he nor Rogue
would give up on 'the dream' but if they couldn't come to
terms with the others and had to fight for 'the dream without
the others they would do it and they would be good at it.
To be continued.
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