Characters are Marvel's, I am not making
money ... even if I were, I'd probably buy comics with it.
Tuna Fish or Nuthin or The Question
There comes a time in every relationship in which the female
half of the pair must ask The Question. It just so happened
that The Question came to Rogue, an average looking woman,
of average height, average weight, and slightly-above-average
ability to smash through brick walls, fly, and absorb the
energy from any living thing she touched, while she was at
the wheel of her Jeep Wrangler. As she glanced sideways at
the passenger of said vehicle, The Question lit upon her brain,
built a nest, and laid eggs. She smiled lovingly at her passenger,
and current partner in love, Remy LeBeau. He was looking rather
contemplative, with a faraway look in his eyes. The eggs The
Question had laid hatched, and Rogue decided to ask in a dreamy
"What are you thinking about?"
Remy LeBeau, a man of above average height, below average
weight, and slightly-above-average-and-all-around-cool ability
to blow stuff up opened his mouth slightly, to respond in
the typical male fashion: "Nothin'."
This would have been his answer (which of course is a very
good answer to many of life's important questions: i.e. What
were you doing last night? What is that on your collar? What
do you have behind your back? etc.), however, he realized
it probably wouldn't be the most acceptable response when
directed at a female.
He closed his mouth and sat for a moment, now thinking about
what he HAD been thinking about before The Question had been
asked. His thoughts probably should have involved his dealings
with the Thieves' Guild, or contemplation on strategies previously
employed by him as leader of the X-Men. But in fact, he was
thinking about the Leftover Tuna Salad he had seen in the
fridge earlier this morning, and whether or not Someone had
Remy, however, did not want to admit this truth. So he sighed
and responded with the best answer he could think of.
"Nothin'," he replied.
The word "Nothing", upon entering the female mind, flips
many switches. One of them being the semi-irrational "Jealous
Girlfriend Switch." "Nothing," to a woman, obviously means
"Something," and that something probably involves a thought
a male does not want to admit to. In that aspect, she would
be correct. However, Rogue's assumptions about Remy's thoughts
were quite off the mark.
"You were thinking about that Sekmeht woman, weren't you!"
"Hunh?" was Remy's response. Although the man had super human
agility, the accusation had flown in from such a bizarre angle
that it interfered with Remy's ability to take action in a
swift manner. Now of course, Sekmeht appeared in his mind's
eye, although there were no traces of her before Rogue mentioned
the name. Not only that, the picture he had conjured up involved
Sekmeht raiding the fridge for his Tuna Salad.
"Sekmeht! I know you were thinking about her! That little
cutie-pie Tomb Raider chick!" Rogue continued.
"No I wasn't!" Remy's mouth had regained mobility, but his
mind was working overtime ... Now Sekmeht had made a Sandwich
out of his Tuna Salad and was Eating It. Some mayonnaise dribbled
down her chin.
"Yes you were, otherwise you wouldn't have said 'Nuthin','"
Rogue snapped. "'Nuthin' means 'Sumthin'! It's always sex
or food with you men! Food and sex!"
Remy's thoughts swam of Sekmeht. She was now bathing nude
in a huge vat of Tuna Salad.
"Wurble-er-er-er..." Remy's stomach said.
Rogue paused in her tirade. She looked at Remy's abdomen.
"Are you hungry?" she asked.
"Yah, I guess."
"I think there's some leftover tuna salad in the fridge,"
There was a long moment of silence before Remy replied.
"Uhm ... maybe we should order out for some pizza instead."
Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction /
Fan Artwork / History Books /
Photo Album / Songbank /
Miscellania / Links /
Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof
are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an
unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by