Disclaimer: I own no Beer companies
or their spokes amphibians & birds. That goes double for
the rabbit (BOOMBOOMBOOM) oops bunny (Sorry Gizer). I don't
own Marvel char. either (sigh). I've moved to a rather nice
doorway, and I have no pockets for the lawyers to take money
from so don't sue please? I am not making any money off of
this, nor am I getting any free beer (which I couldn't drink
anyway). So once again don't sue, and this could be considered
free advertising (hey it's just a suggestion).
Wolvie searched the fridge a minute and sighed. ~The last
two beers, oh well have tah go tah tha store tomorrow,~ he
thought to himself. He grabbed the last two and took them
to the Rec room, figuring it'd save a trip.
Jubilee was already sitting on the couch with the remote
watching Demolition Man.
Wolvie paused watching a minute as Edgar Friendly gave his
unforgettable speech about freedom-"I want to run through
the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading
Playboy magazine. Why? Cause I might suddenly feel
the need to, okay pal? I've seen the future, know what it
is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sittin around in his basement
drinkin a banana broccoli shake thinkin 'I'm an Oscar Meyer
Wolvie shook his head as Jubilee burst out laughing, "Having
Bish around really ruins future flicks. Ya know darlin, Cyke
would never let ya watch this show."
Jubilee looked up at him innocently, eyes dancing, "Yep,
but Cyke ain't here, so your gonna like be a nice person and
let me watch it ain'tcha?"
Wolvie nodded grabbing the remote out of her hands and sitting
down beside her, "Yep in between the hockey game."
She groaned as she snuggled up to him, but didn't complain
to much, just a few surreptitious pokes in the side and loud
complaints when he didn't change the channel fast enough.
He was half asleep when he suddenly heard a faint scratching
in the kitchen, glancing at Jubes told him she hadn't heard
it. He got up, "Goin tah see if anyone got any pretzels,
want anythin?" no sense in worrying her.
She nodded, "Yeah, like see if there are any Doritos,
Kay? But don't get em if it's Pizza flavor, that's so like
Wolvie nodded absently as he walked towards the kitchen sniffing
for any unusual scents.
It smelled a little more like fish than when he'd last been
in there, but he dismissed it as possibly something one of
the others had gotten for dinner. The scratching sound had
stopped a long time ago, and the kitchen was empty. He gave
it a quick once over pausing at the fridge...the door was
cracked open. Maybe Jubes left it open, she has been in here
plenty gettin drinks.
Shrugging to himself, he suspiciously opened the door fully
and glanced inside. A few food items were in different places
and it smelled fishy there too, but once again that could
be Jubes doing, could have moved something. But then that
would mean she should smell fishy to, and he KNEW she didn't.
He shrugged to himself again and absently grabbed the Doritos
out of the cabinet before returning and sat back in his seat
with much grumbling from Jubes at having to move over slightly
before leaning back on him.
"I like told you to NOT to like get those nasty Pizza
chips." Wolvie shrugged and she opened the bag with a
disgusted look and started in on them. She grinned at his
lifted eyebrow in question, "I said they were nasty,
not that I wouldn't like eat them anyway."
He shook his head and flipped back to the end of the hockey
game, then the phone rang. Jubilee had brought one of the
cell phones with her, "It's probably Ev, so I'll get
"Hello?....Hello?....Who is this?" She hung up
and looked at him, "Crank caller."
He nodded, they had only watched the T.V. for a minute when
the phone rang again. "I'll answer it this time Jubes"
He grabbed the phone
"Doobie Doobie Doo"
"Who is this?"
"Doobie Doobie Doo"
He growled menacingly and hit the off button savagely wishing
for the good old phones that you could slam. The phone rang
again immediately and Wolvie picked it up-
"Doobie Doobie Doo."
"Bobby if you keep this up I'm gonna skin ya alive."
"Doobie Doobie Doo."
Jubilee grabbed it out of his hands
"Boom Boom Boom Boom."
"BOBBY I'M WARNING YOU!!!!"
"BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!"
It was a sinister evil-sounding incessant drumbeat that wouldn't
quit. She hung up more than a little scared now, she couldn't
ever remember Drake being THAT persistent before. She glanced
at Wolvie as the phone rang again. They stared at it waiting
for the caller to hang up, but it kept ringing, and ringing,
and ringing. Wolvie answered it not saying a word,
"Doobie Doobie Doo."
It was said in a sinister sing-song voice, that seemed closer
somehow than it had before. He hung up. The phone started
to ring again. "Jubes whatever it is that's callin I
think it's comin here, we oughta get away from the windows."
Jubilee nodded and they went to the medilab, the only opening
there was the single door.
They rearranged the room so that the door was blocked, and
they had room if it came to a fight, and then leaned against
the far wall to wait and the phone rang the entire time.
An hour later the doorknob turned slowly then rattled when
the door didn't open. Wolvie signaled Jubes and moved silently
beside the door with his claws out, Jubes stood in front ready
to let loose with her pafs and fry whatever it was, if it
got past Wolvie.
The door burst opened and Wolvie leapt on one very stunned
Beast, knocking him to the floor. Wolvie let him up with a
sheepish grin and Hank glared at him, "May I inquire
as to the reason you assume my furry self poses a possible
threat to your continued well-being my friends?"
"If yer askin why I jumped ya that's why." Wolvie
pointed at the still ringing phone. Beast looked at him, then
answered it, "Hello? Oh no sorry wrong number."
He hung up and the phone didn't ring again.
Beast looked at him questioningly, he growled and yanked
the phone from his hands before storming out of the room.
As soon as he was alone in the hall the phone started ringing
again, he turned and stalked back into the room...the phone
quit ringing as soon as he reached the door.
He turned once more and walked down the hall, sure enough
as soon as he was out of hearing it began to ring again. He
stormed back to Beast who looked at him questioningly, "Can
ya set it tah trace tha caller next time it rings?" Beast
nodded slowly unsure if he should be catering to this sudden
onset of insanity, he turned grabbing a device from the nearest
table, and attached it to the phone. "That it?"
Beast nodded, and Wolvie turned and stormed out of the room.
He made it all the way back to the living room before it rang
again. He answered,
"Doobie Doobie Doo."
"Doobie Doobie Doo."
The device had it traced.
"Yer goin down!"
"Doobie Doobie Doo BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM."
Wolvie hung up, and glanced at the screen on the tracer...it
was the mansion's number. ~Must've gotten in tha house, wonder
why Cerebro didn't say nuthin...~
He began searching the house looking for the only other occupants
other than Beast and Jubes. The first two floors were clean...that
only left the attic stairs, where the fish smell got stronger.
Wolverine glanced up the dark stairs, seeing nothing out
of the ordinary, he released his claws and started up slowly.
Once he reached the top he paused sniffing, the fish smell
was nearly overwhelming, fish...and acid...battery acid. He
hit the light switch by the stairs, but the room was empty.
The phone rang, and he answered it cursing
"Doobie Doobie Doo...beep."
That was the first time they had hung up on HIM. He turned
slowly studying the room and noticed a half hidden door on
the far side. He slowly, silently crept toward it and got
to one side before cautiously reaching over to turn the handle
and swing the door open. Nothing happened. He slowly peeked
in...and stopped dead at the sight of...a penguin and pink
bunny holding a drum and a battery crowded around a cell phone,
surrounded by empty sardine cans and beer bottles. They looked
up at him, and started laughing.
He jerked straight up and found himself on the couch. Something
sloshed on him and he looked down to find he was holding a
Miller Ice bottle, in disgust he threw it away from him.
"I'm drinkin Bud from now on.", he swore to himself
as the T.V. caught his eye.
It was the news, the end of it at least, and they had a very
familiar face on tonight. "And in the news tonight this
man, international villain known only as Sinister was apprehended
in the city streets outside a bar. He was admitted to the
The T.V. went to a reel of Sinister in straitjacket, he was
screaming and drooling on himself as the burly guards dragged
him into the building, "THE PENGUIN MADE ME DO IT. THE
PENGUIN heehawheeDoobie Doobie Doo hehehe. AND HIS LITTLE
In background even with his enhanced eyesight he could just
barely make out a penguin holding a beer standing next to
a pink bunny beating on a drum.
They were signaling something, and suddenly he make out three
frogs scampering off into the night. The penguin turned to
the camera making throat slitting signs, which he knew was
meant for him...
He came awake again slowly feeling a weight on his side he
wasn't accustomed to. It was Jubilee fast asleep. He shook
his head, all a dream, the news was going off, so he shut
off the T.V. Slowly he eased Jubes off him until he could
get up, then eased her down so gently she didn't wake. The
phone rang, and he jumped, then sheepishly answered the phone.
Wolvie fainted. Scott walked in and looked him over, then
bent a plucked the phone from his hand
"Okay Bobby it's over you can come out now."
Bobby walked in the door holding a cell phone and started
laughing when he caught sight of Wolvie stretched out on the
Jean walked in behind him, "Hopefully that will teach
him about drinking to much beer for a while and leaving water
rings on my furniture. I never knew he had such weird dreams,
I didn't have to insert much."
Jubilee sat up groggily and stopped in shock as she noticed
Wolvie,"What happened?" The only response she got
Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction /
Fan Artwork / History Books /
Photo Album / Songbank /
Miscellania / Links /
Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof
are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an
unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by