I was encouraged to send this by Keri
and Keith so I hope it's okay! Just some fluff writing
I did at 1:30 a.m.! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: The X-Men belong to Marvel -- I don't have
any rights to them or anything else they created that may
be in this story (duh.) As for America Online, Gateway, etc.
the same thing goes. This was just for fun -- I won't get
any cash for this (ain't that the truth). I write only for
laughs! Hee hee.
A Day In The Life at The Xavier Institute
(home to dysfunctional mutant families!)
A Humorous Tale about the X-Men, Romance
and Internet Addiction
The sun was just starting to cast a warm, golden glow on
the outer walls of the Xavier Institute. The hallways inside
were grey with remnants of the night except for one doorway
in the men's dormitory wing that glowed from a 60 watt bulb.
Remy Lebeau, also known as Gambit, was sitting at his desk,
lounging back in a black leather desk chair as an America
Online Instant Message signaled a continuing chat. "Lemme
see," Remy read, or rather silently mumbled the contents
out loud, "Non, non non," he shook his head as he
typed, and was about to silently curse out loud when there
came a rapping at his door. He hurriedly slammed the keyboard
shelf back under the desk and hit the power to turn off the
computer just as the door whooshed open.
Staring at Gambit, with a silly grin on his face, the Beast,
also known as Henry McCoy was hanging upside down in the hallway.
"Feeding your late night/ early morning electronic Internet
addiction, Remy?" Beast teased.
"Mon ami, don tell Rogue that I was..." Remy was
about to defend himself but the Beast finished with his own
"...That you were bonding with your plastic hardware
again? Oh no, wouldn't dream of it," Beast laughed and
then headed down the hallway in silent yet forceful leaps.
Gambit shook his head, looked both ways down the hallway
and then shut the door to return to his computer.
Rogue blinked sleepily and rubbed at her eyes as she turned
over to stare at the clock. 6:00 a.m. Wouldn't it be lovely
ta sleep in for once during the week? she thought. Old
habits were hard to break, especially when you were used to
waking up at the crack of dawn to save the world. She wondered
if Gambit was up and decided to get him up if he wasn't. For
several weeks now, since Remy had discovered the pleasures
of America Online, he had been, for lack of better words,
obsessed -- staying up until the wee hours of morning and
sleeping until the afternoon. It all left Rogue alone with
nothing to do and Cyclops wondering if he should put Remy
down as "swing shift" for saving the world.
Rogue picked up the phone and dialed the in-house number
to Remy's room. "Nagdamnit, Remy!" She slammed the
phone down at the busy signal. Shoving off her cotton sheets,
she jumped to her feet and stomped down the hallway of the
women's dormitory. Not bothering to put on a robe over her
lightweight sleepwear, she crossed over to the men's dormitory
area, muttering in frustration as she walked across the cool
hardwood floor. She could see Remy's door a mile away -- its
sillouete illuminated like the Olympic torch as light snuck
out from its cracks. She shoved open the door and hid a smirk
as Remy, obviously taken off guard, fell over backwards in
his desk chair. He hit the floor with a thud, his legs up
in the air and the wind knocked out of him as his speakers
announced in an overjoyous zeal that didn't fit the moment,
"You've got mail!"
Jean Grey and Scott Summers were laying in bed together recuperating
from a long night of lovemaking. They had snuck back into
Scott's former room for a bit of a kick, or at least, for
old time's sake.
*Scott.* Jean's voice entered Cyclops''s mind.
*Yes, Jean?* Scott was waiting for her next words,
which he assumed were going to be a heart-filled "I love
you" but frowned when Jean continued. *Rogue is going
to throw Gambit's computer out the window and into the pool.*
Scott winced as he heard a glass window shatter and the yelling
"Do you suppose she had a good shot?" Scott asked
out loud staring at the ceiling and contemplating the best
route to take to the Hardware store during the morning rush
"At Remy?" Jean questioned.
"No, at the pool."
"And dont'cha dare go and buy another one," Rogue
hollered and stomped off down the hallway.
"Good morning to you too, Rogue," Bobby, known
as Iceman within the X-Men family, stood in his doorway rubbing
the back of his neck groggily. He watched her saunter off
as Remy came to stand by his side.
"That lil white nightie looks real good on de chere,
neh?" Gambit rubbed his chin as Bobby started to laugh.
Suddenly, they turned to stare as Scott stuck his head outside
his door, said "Good morning," then retreated back
inside. They stared at the door as Bobby scratched his head
confused to see Scott in his former room.
"I thought they..." he paused in midsentence as
little giggling sounds and grunts started coming from behind
"Oh mon dieu," Remy shook his head, "de things
dis Cajun should've known before he moved in here."
"You mean Rogue's temper?" Bobby laughed.
"No, I mean the Summers," Gambit smirked and they
headed downstairs to get a strong cup of coffee.
Bobby and Remy sat at the kitchen table, the small overhead
light casting a soft glow on the room's still-dark interior.
Bobby grimaced, "Who made the coffee?"
"Y'really had t'ask, mon ami?" Gambit rolled his
They locked eyes and then grinned as a name rolled out of
their mouths at the same time, "Bishop." Though
Bishop had come from the future and was well aware of "things
to come" he still hadn't mastered how to make a cup of
"Shoulda brought some coffee back from Seattle, Remy,"
Bobby said while adding spoonful after spoonful of sugar to
"Had other t'ings on my mind, if you can remember,"
"You? Other things on your mind? Nah," Bobby was
the ever-constant smartass.
Just then, the side door that lead from the outside grounds
to the kitchen swooped open and a soft breeze filled the room.
A dark figure, short, but thoroughly built sauntered in.
"Did Bishop make the coffee again?" a gruff voice
"Morning, Logan," Bobby said, still adding sugar
to his coffee, "and yeah he did."
Wolverine held the coffee pot up in his hand, examining it
Just then a whirling sound started to come closer from down
the hallway. "Coming through!" Jubilee exclaimed
as she circled the kitchen table on her rollar blades. She
grabbed Gambit's bagel from his plate and skated off.
"Hey, chere, Remy work hard for dat bagel, neh?!"
Bobby smacked Remy across the back, "First your computer,
then the bagel," he made a tsk tsk tsk sound with his
tongue, "these women really have it in for you, huh?"
"Was that your computer I saw in the deep end, Cajun?"
Wolverine asked as he chewed on a beef jerky stick.
"Rogue decided that Internet-Aholics Anonymous would
take too long to cure Gambit, so she, uh, took matters into
her own hands. Oh --" Bobby continued, obviously overjoyed,
"and Gambit's room now has free air conditioning. All
we gotta do is have 'Roro summon a constant breeze and..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Remy pushed back his chair,
"'nuff wit de humor at mon expense, already. Dis Cajun
has t'find a paper and find some sales."
"Woah," Bobby leaned back in his chair, "you
aren't going to go get another one of those things are you?
If Rogue finds out she'll send you through the window
the next time."
Logan drank his cup of "Bishop Coffee" in one swig,
grimacing as it went down. "Let the Cajun have his death
wish. You and I are on call to the Danger Room, Bobby."
"Damnit," Bobby swore and banged his head against
Jubilee counted the doors as she skated past them, 'three,
four, five,' she made a sharp turn on her rollar blades and
wheeled her body into Rogue's room. "Howdy there Ms.
Southern Mutant," she faked her best southern accent.
She jumped onto Rogue's bed and watched as the other woman
searched for a CD.
"Howdy, Jubilee," Rogue said in a natural, southern
drawl. Her voice was soft and welcoming, a direct contrast
to the previous hours.
"What did you do to the Cajun's computer," Jubilee
opened a packet of gum and started to chew two sticks at once.
"Hwe wuz pwetty wupset, wa know," she said through
a mouthful of Hubba-Bubba.
"Yeah well ah'm sick an' tired of waiting foah him ta
get his ass up aftah bein' up so late from bein' on that computer,"
"Oooooh," Jubilee said out loud, swinging her legs
back and forth over the bed.
Rogue put in her 'Police' Cd and sat on the bed by Jubilee.
"Want some? " Jubilee held out two sticks of gum
"Oh hell, sure," Rogue popped both sticks into
her mouth. They sat there listening to music and chewing gum.
"Oh!" Jubilee pulled out a folded booklet from
her back jean-shorts pocket, "did you see the new comic
book that came out? You'll never guess who it's about,"
She exclaimed and shoved the paper mass into Rogue's blinking
"Oh dear gawd, no," Rogue groaned. She knew that
the people had taken liberties to turn the X-Men into a comic
book years ago, but what she saw made her want to drown herself
in the pool with Remy's computer.
"Yup, the Cajun has his own comic book!" Jubilee
smirked. "The Gambit Series," she laughed.
Rogue grabbed the comic book and stared intently at Jubilation,
"He hasn't seen this yet, has he?"
"Nu uh," Jubilee shook her head.
"Dont'cha dare let him see it, then. This'll only blow
his ego up ta gawd knows what and then ah have ta deal with
that as well as tha damn Internet addiction," Rogue started
pacing around her room.
Jubilee blew a bubble and let it pop and smirked, "How
much are you going to pay me not to?"
"Look at dis one, Beast!" Remy Lebeau exclaimed
while Henry McCoy mixed something acidic in a vial.
"Uh . . . huh . . ." It was not the first zealous
outburst Gambit had shared with Henry in the past five minutes.
He watched the Cajun cut out a coupon with scissors.
"I gotta get to de Comp USA store," Remy folded
the paper and bounded off of the sofa. "Need anything,
mon ami?" he asked.
"Oh just a formula to compound the matrix antidote to
the zygote fluxation of..." Beast started babbling as
Remy ran out the door, not waiting for an answer.
"You'd think it were Christmas in the Xavier Mansion,"
Beast mused aloud as a cloud of smoke started to rise from
the vial. He waved his hand frantically above it, fanning
it out of the way, "Oh my stars and garters, this is
not in the formula."
Remy Lebeau was making his way down the hallway to head up
to the garage when the Danger Room door suddenly opened. "Hey,
Cajun, going to get your electronic fix?" Logan laughed
and walked past Gambit. Remy watched as Bobby came stumbling
out of the training sequence.
"Bad sequence?" Gambit eyed Bobby, who was drenched
in sweat and wobbly around the knees.
"Remind me to take all of Logan's beef jerkies, throw
them in our blender and make mush out of them," he huffed
out, but stopped to take a deep breath as a white smoke crept
down the hallway. "What's that smell?" As soon as
Bobby said it, a loud explosion came from around the corner
and Henry McCoy's outraged voice filled the air in one, furious
"Uh, Gotta go, Bobby," Remy held up his coupon,
"Comp USA havin' a sale."
"Twenty . . . bucks . . ." Rogue grinded her teeth
with her final offer. Jubilee leaned back on Rogue's bed considering.
"I can barely buy a CD for that amount," she considered.
"Besides, we all know what the Cajun's ego is like."
"Then what would ya recommend," Rogue grabbed a
pillow and held it threateningly above Jubilee.
"Woah, woah, woah Mississippi girl, cool your steamboat
wheel. You won't get a series of your own with an attitude
like that. Forty bucks and it's a deal."
"Like Ah'd even want mah own series? They'd write me
all wrong anyhow." She hit Jubilee playfully with the
pillow. "Do ya take a check?" Rogue glared in Jubilee's
face and asked with sass.
"Yeah, with your luck they'd send you off to Antarctica
or something. Make it payable to 'Jubilation, world class
mutant and comic-book extraordinaire.'"
Scott Summers rested his head against his steering wheel
and waited to move another inch forward. He was stuck, bumper
to bumper mid-town and the hardware store was another ten
minutes away. Okay, the Profesor is going to have to implement
some new rules at the mansion because I am not going to deal
with Internet Hysteria every damn day. Scott started to
move his vehicle forward as the car in front of him turned
off the road but then had to yell in anger as a motorcycle
cut him off, "Up yours buddy!" Scott started to
raise a certain finger but stopped midway in shock as the
motorcyclist waved and grinned, "Gambit?!"
"WHERE is he, Bobby?"
Rogue had Iceman cornered in the TV room, she pinned him
against the wall her arms blocking any exit for the nervous
"You mean Gambit?" Bobby was trying his best to
"No, ah mean the mutant formally known as Gambit.
Of COURSE Gambit!" Rogue glared. "Y'got five seconds
t'tell me before ah hide the remote," she threatened.
"But Martha Stewart is on, Rogue," Bobby pleaded.
He hated Martha Stewart and wanted desperately to change to
the baseball game being aired.
"Exactly," Rogue waved the remote in front of Bobby's
face with a sparkle in her green eyes.
Jean was reading through Scott's journal when a knock sounded
at the door. "Come in, Bobby," she greeted and smiled
"Hi, Jean," he looked sheepish. "I was wondering
if you could do me a favor?"
"What is it," Jean was boggled, it wasn't every
day Bobby was wandering around asking for favors from her.
"Could you read Rogue's thoughts and find out where
she hid the remote for me?" He sighed.
"Did you tell her where Gambit was?" Jean raised
her eyebrow, reading his thoughts instead.
"Umm," Iceman looked around the room, "nevermind,
I'll find it."
Rogue swept through the automatic -- electronic doors to
Comp USA. Bobby hadn't been much help, but Beast had been
overjoyed to give away the Cajun's location. She looked around
for the Gateway section of the store and spotted Remy. "That
boy is goin' ta get the butt whoopin' of his life." She
started forward, hands on her hips, to apprehend the thief.
Remy saw his angry, petite fille comin' from a mile away,
"Let me explain, mon chere, y'see I have to find out
what's bein' discussed on the Gambit mailing list, so I can
. . . ." Remy started but continued with a bunch of 'owe
owe owe's' as Rogue dragged him out of the store.
"Y'need serious help Monsieur Lebeau," Rogue growled
but stopped short as Remy put his arms around her waist.
"Non, chere, all I need is you," he murmured close
to her ear, but careful not to touch her skin with his lips.
Rogue's demeanor softened slightly, "Me, huh?"
"Well, yeah ... you..." he grinned, and Rogue knew
what was coming, "and a new computer."
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