**Standard Mice Disclaimer**
Mice is in no way associated with the Marvel Comics Group. She is merely trying to write a story and this is all she has to show for it. A noble effort. Though she would one day like to be paid for writing, please don't send her any money (send mail to urmonkeyifudo@yeahright.com on instructions to send her money). The characters of Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy and Jubilee, belong to the Marvel Comics Group. Holland, Jacob, Bert, Cliff, Hollis, Annie, Gary, and Nan are of my own mind. Any archiving of this story that is unaware of her attention will be ily received (Read: Tikki Curse). If you e-mail her, explain your intentions to archive the story and address of your archive, she will be more than gracious and will probably do something nice for you, like bake you brownies, not to mention archiving the story. She just wants to know where she can drool over the sight of her name. If you want to e-mail her comments, do it at mice5k@hotmail.com. You'll also get some brownies out of the deal, but it's not really that great of a reward because she can't cook.

God ... er, Dog
by Mice

Chapter 5

Holland began to tip toe back into her grandmother's house, hoping that no one would notice her slipping in.

But, as always, fate was against her.

"Will someone get that phone?"

Holland paused and yelled back. "The phone isn't ringing, Nana--"

The phone rang. Holland knitted her eyebrows together while going over to the phone. "That's it, she's not allowed to watch NBC Saturday night ... ever since that show The Others came on, the woman think she's psychic..." Holland removed one of her earrings and picked up the phone. "Bass residence."

"Uh, hello ... I'm calling for, uh, Jubilee," a nervous voice said.

"I'll see if she's home--"

"Jacqueline, get the door!"

"Nana, no one--"

There was a knock at the door.

"You were saying, Jacqueline?"

Holland began to grit her teeth as she went to open the door.

"Thanks, Holland; I forgot to get a key before I left," her cousin Bobby said as he walked in.

"Where's your other half, Bobby?"

"Right here."

Holland's eyes went wide. "It got bleached!"

Jubilee put a hand on her hip and stared at Holland. "It got plucked." Holland opened her mouth to retort, but Jubilee cut her off. "It looks good, Holland ... the whole package, really nice."

Holland went to open her mouth again until Bobby made a motion for her to close it. "Appreciate the comment for what it is; a compliment."

Holland smiled. "Thank you ... Jubilee. Oh! Someone is on the phone for you."

Jubilee skipped over to the phone and picked it up giddily. "Yo."

"Here." Bobby thrusted a bag at Holland.

"This is...?"

"A present for Bert. Jubilee spotted it ... I don't know if he has one or not..."

Holland began to laugh as she opened the bag. "It's Steve! Bobby, this is so nice ... Gilberto will love this!"

Then, Holland did something that took her and her cousin by surprise; she hugged him. "Thank you."

"Does this mean we can declare a truce for the time being?"

Holland released him and looked him in the eye. "I shouldn't let you go off with a bribe ... but ... I think we'd both be a lot saner ... so, a truce. For the time being. Shake on it?"

Bobby smiled and hugged his cousin. "I'm a better hugger."

Jubilee walked back into the living room from the kitchen. "Well...that was nice."

"Who was it, J?"

Jubilee plopped herself on the couch. "That was Ev."

Bobby hopped on beside her. "Ooh, let's dish! How goes things in the Unrequited State of Love?"

Jubilee sighed. "I just wonder what goes through that bald head of his! I makes me wanna ... GRR! You know? Just ... GRR!"

Bobby nodded. "Hank couldn't phrase it better himself. Want to talk about it?"

Jubilee shook her head. "If you don't mind, Bobby ... I kinda want to be alone right now."

Bobby gave her a quick hug and watched her walk into his grandmother's room and rolled his eyes. "Chicks."

Holland smiled. "She just wants to talk with someone who's had some luck in the romance department, Bobby."

"Hey, I've had some success!"

Holland raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, there was Opal--"

"Aunt Maddie told me about her. Didn't she emasculate you in public?"

"But everything up until then was pretty good!"

"Name another."

"Uh ... oh! Cloud ... wait ... no. Forget that one."

"Spill it, Bobby. What went wrong?"

"Uhm ... she was in love with a bald chick so she turned into a man and--"

"Wait, wait, wait ... there's an 'and' after all that? I don't think I want to know. Next."

"Uhm..." Bobby drawled out. "Uhm..."

"Well?"

"I'm trying to think of someone who reciprocated my feelings, though wasn't trying to kill me or who was from another dimension!"

Holland smirked. "And I thought my love life was difficult."

The greatest thing and the worst thing about old age is that you get to be a kid again. The good thing being that you get to experience again the freedom of not having much to do; just stay at home, eat, and watch t.v.

And you get to do it all in your underwear.

The worst being that you are old enough to do all the things you wanted to indulge yourself in when you were too young to do it, but everyone tells you that you're too old to do them now.

Ever since I broke my hip, everyone has been treating me so different, even my Canasta Club, who've I've known since I came down here. The last game I played was two months ago; I stopped because they all started looking at me like Death was looking over my shoulder, and it was only a matter of time before it got to them, too. I want to scream at them that I just broke my hip; it's just a bone for crying out loud and hasn't Liz Taylor broke hers several times, and look at her! After my stroke, I understand the worry, but it was a hip.

Morons, every last one of them.

"Uhm, Nan?"

Nan Bass smiled as she looked at her new young friend.

"Billie! Your hair looks simply to die for! Come here, Miss Monroe!" Nan ran her fingers through Jubilee's now blonde locks. "Trust me, Billie, life is definitely better as a blonde; you're always sunny side up!"

Jubilee let out a small smile. "Here's hoping."

Nan frowned. "Something the matter?"

Jubilee nodded.

"Is it about that boy you like? Emmett?"

"Everett."

"Emmett sounds better and much shorter."

Jubilee bit her lip. "He's going steady with this dip, now."

Nan motioned for Jubilee to sit on the bed next to her. "Billie, you said that he's had other girlfriends before--"

"He has, but this is different. It was never more than a passing interest. He was serious about this one girl, Marnie?"

"The manic depressive slut?"

"That's the one." Jubilee bit on her lip. "It's like ... when Ev gets serious about a girl, he gets damn serious ... and I just tend to ... you know..."

"Get shoved out of the way. I understand the feeling."

"I mean, if it were Paige, I'd be happy, but then, we're not the best of friends--"

"And she's a girl. Emmett's a guy."

"Yeah! I mean, I always saw us getting together ... one day ... but, like, with every girl he gets interested in ... it's like the further away I am from ever getting a chance." Jubilee began to sniffle.

"Keep going, Billie, it's all right."

"I wouldn't even like him if for the fact that he wasn't the most perfect guy out there ... he's like this incredibly smart, sweet, considerate, thoughtful guy, and how many guys are all those things, you know? And like, when we're together, we just have this spark ... and it's just his fault!" Jubilee reached over to get a tissue from Nan's night stand. "Like, we were watching this movie, and he said to me, 'Jubilee, I bet when you finally find that certain guy, he'll kiss you, and he'll take out a rose petal in his mouth because he'll finally taste what beauty is, just like Lester.'" Jubilee dried her eyes and began wiping off her eye make up. "And that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me ... how can he say that to me and keep going out with other girls?"

Nan took Jubilee's head and began to stroke it gently. "Just let it out, Billie..."

When I got my stroke, Jacqueline came over to take care of me. The family thinks I call her that name because of Jacque O. The truth is, I call her that because of Jacqueline Smith, who was my favorite Charlie's Angel. I tell you, that Aaron Spelling could make a show about a potato farmer and make it hot, sexy, and just all around quality television.

Genius is the only word that can do him justice.

But my Jacqueline ... she has given me the only great grandchild that I'll ever see. I knew this before Cliff passed on; Jacqueline thought she could hide the fact that Cliff preferred to play for the home team, but I knew. In fact, I knew before he did.

I have excellent instincts. I once won $98,000 in just little over an hour while playing roulette. How else do you think I got to live here?

And Bobby ... that boy needs to get his head straightened out. You think a boy could get over a childhood like his after going to that Xavier's school. If that Batman cartoon taught me anything, super heroes aren't supposed to be head cases, that's a job for the bad guys.

He tries to cover up that fact, but he's failing miserably.

Jacqueline is even worse, with her story about how she got pregnant and all, but I must give credit where credit is due. When I needed help, she was the only one who came running to my bedside. She can be pushy and quite the pain, but she's company, and since my Seth died a few years back, there has been a significant lack of that in my life.

continued >>

Author's Notes: Nothing really...though I would like to shamelessly promote a website: Alyson Hurt's (un)frozen: http://alykat.hispeed.com/unfrozen/ Probably the best archivist out there and definitely one of the must gung ho.

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