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A Special Kinda Savoring
The loud thumping on the stairs clued him in first.
The muffled cursing -- not very spicy cursing, at that -- clued him in next.
But it wasn't until a panting, overloaded Bobby fumbled the door to their room open that Remy realized that his lover hadn't just spent the day at the library, but had also brought a good chunk of said library home with him.
"Help!" Bobby said plaintively. At least, he was pretty sure it was indeed Bobby hiding behind that stack of books. Remy slid off the bed, not all that hurriedly, and strolled over to take the top half of the stack just as it started to topple to the ground. There were movies piled on the books, too, with the cheerfully simple Blockbuster logo on their covers. He carried the stack to the bed and dumped them across the quilt, riffling through the selection with shameless curiosity.
"'De Bird Cage'? Y' rented 'De Bird Cage'?"
Bobby allowed himself to collapse with his burden, shaking the bed and sending a book or two sliding off to the floor. "Yeah," he said, collecting his breath. Remy couldn't help a half-grin at the picture he presented. Bobby lyin' back an' pantin' on de bed... merde...
The next movie... "'Philadelphia,' Bobby?"
"Yep." Bobby rolled his neck, then flung his arms over his head to let them sprawl with charming gracelessness over the mattress. He never did seem to realize just how cute he looked all splayed out and relaxed like that.
Remy shook his head and picked up the next one. "'De Object a My Affection'?"
Remy blinked, torn between the laughter he could feel churning just inside and utter disbelief. "Bobby... what is all dis?"
"Research." The younger man closed his eyes and sighed gustily. "The books, too. The librarian almost didn't let me check all of 'em out, but I charmed my way into her heart."
"Ah." With somehow morbid-feeling fascination he picked up a book at random. 'Out In All Directions.' Another... 'The Unofficial Gay MANual.' Another... 'Gay Man's Wellness Guide.' Another...
"'Gay Kama Sutra'??"
Eyes still closed, Bobby blushed in that oh-so-adorable way of his. "Well... um..."
"It just looked... y'know...interesting..."
"I mean what de hell are y' doin' wit' all dis stuff?"
"I told you. Research."
Remy held his patience. Barely. "On...?" If he says what I t'ink he's gon' say...
"How to be gay," his lover answered seriously.
"Cher..." That laughter was bubbling higher, so very hard to suppress. "De movies an' books? Y' tryin' t' figure out how... t' be gay?"
"Well... how to be a better gay man."
If I didn' have about a t'ousand years a experience in keepin' a poker face I t'ink I'd be on de floor by now. "Um... cher?"
"Y' know dat 'Chasing Amy' ain' really about gay men, right?"
"... I knew that..."
Remy sat carefully on the bed and rubbed a hand over his mouth, desperately keeping that laughter down for at least a moment longer. "Bobby... y' don' get t' be a 'better' gay man by readin' 'bout it."
Blue eyes opened as Bobby rolled his head to look at him. "There's a whole lot I don't know about being gay, though."
"And I've screwed up on just about everything else I've tried ... even that accounting position with Dad's friend's bank was a disaster, and I'm supposed to be able to do that ... and I just wanna get this right, y'know? It's not fair for you to have to tell me everything there is to know about all of this. I know everyone thinks I'm a slacker, and ... okay, I am a slacker, but I can catch on when I try. So if I'm gonna do this -- and I am, so don't even look at me that way -- then I'm gonna do it all the way. And--"
Remy cut him off effectively by leaning over the scattered books and videotapes and kissing him softly. He watched the other man's lids flutter, then close over those gorgeous baby blues. After a moment he broke the kiss, drawing back ever so slightly and waiting for Bobby to look at him again. He looks so tasty right now...
Bobby opened his eyes. "--and I'm not gonna screw this up, no matter how much studying I have to do to figure everything out, even if--"
This time he made the kiss count, deepening it and letting a hand run lightly over Bobby's chest, down to stroke along his ribcage. His lover met him, matched him, tongue seeking and finding his where their lips moved, hand shifting to pull Remy closer. What was intended as a momentary distraction instantly became something more, and it was only after a breathless minute that Remy found the will to pull back.
Bobby was panting with a different kind of exertion now. It took him a moment to open his eyes, and even then he didn't quite manage to restart his little ramble. Remy couldn't help the smile, and this time he let it come through, noticing and reveling in the way Bobby's slowly opening eyes lit up upon seeing it.
"Did y' like dat?" he asked softly.
That answering smile that'd been so hesitant for the first weeks they'd been together crossed the other man's face. "Yeah..."
"Y' wan' do a whole lot more dan dat?"
The smile broadened. "Oh yeah."
"Congrats." Remy leaned down swiftly and smacked a loud smooch on his forehead. "Y're a gay man. Y' don' need de books."
"But 'How to be Gay' says--"
He'd stood to survey the mess on the bed, but stopped to glare at those words. "Bobby."
"It does!" Bobby sat up and started digging through the untidy piles, presumably searching for said book. "Hang on, I'll show you..."
Remy hid his face behind a hand, body shaking as the hilarity of it overwhelmed him.
"Quit laughing ... I swear it's here ..."
"Bobby ..." He couldn't finish the thought. The laughter swelled in his chest and bent him double 'til his hands clutched at his stomach and he gasped for air. He looked up, blinking, struggling for a level breath, and Bobby's confused, slightly indignant look only sent him right back over the edge. He had to lean against the wall for support while he fought to maintain some sort -- any sort of composure.
De... 'De Bird Cage'... he rented 'De Bird Cage'...
Finally, after what his aching lungs claimed was a very, very long time, he was out of breath entirely and couldn't manage more than a chuckle. Wiping his eyes, he looked at Bobby and bit down on his cheek to keep from losing it again.
His lover was glaring. "What."
"Bobby..." He shook his head, grinning hugely, and pushed off the wall to walk to the bed. Held out a hand and waited for it to be taken, then pulled a somewhat stiff and huffy Bobby to his feet. "I really, really love you, cher." 'Chasing Amy.' Oh god... don' laugh again... "Y're wonderful."
Bobby's expression was still borderline offended. "I just wanna make sure I don't hurt your feelings over some stupid little thing I don't understand. Not again."
Cher, y' got no idea how much it means t' me t' hear y' say dat. He brushed hair back from Bobby's forehead with a gentle finger, grin transforming smoothly into a smile. "I like y' jus' de way y' are. You don' have t' change f' me."
"But what if I want to change?"
"It's not like I've been all that effective with my life so far, so maybe if I get... get this settled in my mind, I can do something to make myself more--"
Remy was shaking his head, a slight furrow between his brows. No... no, Bobby, y' don' need t' t'ink dat way 'bout y'self. "Stop," he said aloud, softly. "Y' jus' gon' make y'self feel bad over stuff y' don' got any reason t' feel bad about. Y're too hard on y'self, Bobby."
"Maybe I'm not hard enough on myself."
"Bobby!" Exasperated, he swept books off the bed with little regard for how they landed, then gestured for Bobby to sit. The younger man did, face set in that stubborn 'say what you want and I'll ignore it' look. Remy sighed to himself and sat down beside him. Took his hand and held it between his. "Why y' wan' be down on y'self dat way? When y' gon' realize dat y' do make a difference wit' y' life, de way y' choose t' live it? Y're on a team a heroes, Bobby. You risk y' life wit' dese people f' ev'day Joes on de street. Why ain' dat enough t' make y' t'ink y're good de way y' are?"
His lover looked away. Cleared his throat, voice suspiciously thick and surprisingly serious. "I'm not a kid, Remy. I'm not blind, either. I see what I do, and I see what I could be doing. There's too big a gap in between those things."
Remy's hands tightened on Bobby's. Somehow this didn't sound like they were only talking about the 'gay'-thing anymore. "Cher--"
Bobby looked back at him, and though his eyes were uneasy his jaw was firm and determined. "I'm not trying to sound like I need reassurance. I don't. I'm being honest here ... for once. Would you just let me do this my way without telling me it's not necessary?" A faint smile, somehow sad, as he raised his free hand and lightly brushed his knuckles along Remy's jaw. The Cajun suppressed a little shiver. "I don't want you to have to carry me along like an ignorant follower."
"Y're not an--"
Dat's not fair. Dat's not fair at all. Remy glared half-heartedly. Once upon a time his mildest glare was enough to unsettle this man. These days, though, he'd have better luck trying for 'inscrutable' while hiding behind shades. Bobby could read his looks too well.
"I'm just sayin'..." He sighed and scowled a bit, moodily. "Fine. I don' t'ink y' need t' change, but if y' want to... it's your call."
Bobby grinned, a mischievous expression. "I kinda figured that, but I'm glad you approve." He reached out with a foot and toed a book over to lie on the floor in front of Remy. "'Cause you wouldn't believe some of the pictures in this one..."
Skeptically, Remy glanced down. 'The New Joy of Gay Sex' by Dr. Charles Silverstein. Against his will he felt an eyebrow go up consideringly. "Pictures?"
Warm lips were suddenly at his ear. "Pictures," Bobby assured him in a murmur. "And speaking of that, there're a couple of things I wanted to try..."
"You, uh..." Remy felt himself pushed gently back to the mattress and a quick, bright smile dashed across his features. "Oo."
"Monosyllables already? That's not supposed to happen until..." Bobby glanced over the side of the bed. The sound of turning pages could be heard. "Chapter three, I think..."
"How 'bout we do de Cliff's Notes version?" Teeth bared in that lazy grin he knew his lover couldn't resist, Remy hooked a leg around Bobby's waist and turned his attention solidly back the way he wanted it.
End Part 1
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