**Mice's "God...er, Dog" Disclaimer**
Mice is in no way associated with the Marvel Comics Group. The characters
of Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy and Jubilee, belong to the Marvel Comics
Group. Holland, Jacob, Bert, Cliff, Hollis, Annie, Gary, Gene, Lucy,
Peaches, Jentelle, Chad, and Nan are of my own mind. If you want to
e-mail her comments or if you'd like to archive this series, do it
at firstname.lastname@example.org. You'll
get some brownies out of the deal, but it's not really that great
of a reward because she can't cook.
This story is currently being archived at:
The Wolverine and Jubilee Page (http://www.wolverineandjubilee.com)
The X-Zone (http://www.geocities.com/shatter_star15/xzone.html)
God ... er, Dog
Bobby loosened the bow tie that was crushing his neck and undid his
belt before crashing onto his bed. He left the room in total darkness
so he wouldn't catch a glance himself in one of the many mirrors that
were staring down at him.
Bobby shouted one last time to anyone who might be in the house.
No one. Satisfied, Bobby stared up at the ceiling. "It's okay, Bobby,
no one's home. You can cry now..."
"No sign of him yet, Mrs. Bass!"
"Keep looking, boy! Bert should be around here somewhere!"
Hollis cautiously approached Nan from where she stood. "Mrs. Bass--"
"Ah just wanted to say good-bye..."
"I don't think I'm the one you should be saying that to, Miss Lubbock."
Hollis looked down. "No one's called me that in a long while..."
Nan nodded. "Not since I saw you at your eighth anniversary party.
You would have heard it more, but you left soon after that."
"Mrs. Bass, Ah'm sorry about what Ah did ta your son--"
"It's not so much what you did to my son. I knew that was going to
happen, not that it makes it any more forgivable. But the fact that
you had go and try to hurt my Maddy as well makes me sick and glad
that I never had more children for you to hurt."
"It was never mah intention ta hurt Madeleine. And now, Ah just want
ta try and amend things--"
"Why?" Nan snapped.
Hollis's lip quivered. "Ah'm gettin' on in years, Mrs. Bass. Ah have
a grandson and Ah want ta get ta know him--"
"Well, it's a little late to get maternal now."
Hollis closed her eyes. "Ah know what Ah did was wrong and horrible,
but it's not really unforgivable, is it?"
Nan's eyes blazed. "You have to ask that? Of course it is unforgivable!"
"Ah don't think you're being fair!"
"I didn't kill you on sight and I'm not trying to kill you now, I
think that I'm being more than fair!"
"Ah'm asking you as a grandmother, let me see mah grandson!"
"You're asking me to let you see your grandson?" Nan flared. "After
you ruined my Jacob, he moved clear across the country, taking two
of my grandchildren away from me! And then when I decided to move
to see them more, I had to leave my other grandson behind! And you
expect pity from me? What else do you want, a kidney?"
Bobby patted his head absentmindedly while trying to give the floodgates
a jump-start. "...Onions ... the Yankees losing ... Yankees losing
to the Padres..."
"Van Damme, Paige Guthrie, your leather bag is fine! ... YES, it's
going to get back to -- YES I'm using it as carry on ... oh, come
on, Guthers, you don't think I'm so stupid as to do -- What do you
mean you think I am?! ... Paige ... Paige ... PAIGE! I have to go,
okay? I'll be back tomorr -- for the millionth time, NO, I'm not bringing
anything that'll make guard dogs rip it to shreds! Good-bye!" Jubilee
slammed the receiver back onto the pay phone. "God, she can be such
a anal wench!"
A man stopped in his tracks. "Did you say anal wrench?"
Jubilee's eyes flew wide. "No ... I said ‘wench'..."
The man smiled. "Good. You do NOT want to mess with those things!"
Jubilee's jaw dropped as the man walked away. "I think I'm going
to be sick..."
Nan put a hand on her shoulder. "If you had come back within a year
after you left and tried to make some amends, maybe it would work,
but not know. It's too late."
"Ah was afraid ta come back! You and Maddy were raising so much hell--"
Nan's hand turned from a tender touch to a death grip. "Look, Miss
Lubbock," she growled. "My Maddy has no clue about what happened between
you and Drake. Now, you have two choices. You can walk out of this
restaurant and right back out of our lives, or I can tell my Maddy
Hollis grew pale. "All right, Mrs. Bass, Ah'll go."
Nan nodded as she placed her hand back into her lap. "That's what
I thought. I'm glad we could come to an understanding."
"...losing the part of Marvin the Menorah to Shermie in the Hanukkah
pageant and having to be Lawrence the Latke ... being a latke ...
never making the varsity baseball team ... getting a swirlie everyday
in the sixth grade ... never being able to climb the rope in gym class
... never making the junior varsity baseball team..."
Holland looked to the back seat where her son sat with Gary's beagle,
Lucy. Both were sleeping and softly snoring together. "Thank you for
giving us a ride, Gary."
Gary smiled tiredly. "Not a problem, Holland."
"I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you said about
"I meant every word, Holland," Gary rushed. "I loved him very much."
Holland bit her lip. "I'm still trying to understand that, Gary..."
"I know that it's hard for you to accept that Cliff was gay--"
Holland rolled her eyes and snapped. "It's not just that--"
Gary hit the steering wheel with his palm. "Then what is it, Holland?"
Holland closed her eyes and licked her lips. "I'm jealous."
Gary blinked. "Repeat that?"
"I'm jealous that my little brother was in love and I've never been.
Fuck." Holland bit her lip and faced the window.
"I take it that's you're way of saying, ‘There, I said it, happy
Jacob hugged the cold porcelain toilet while leaning his head on
the seat. He wanted to go to the sink and wash his face, but his legs
had long ago fell asleep and showed no signs of waking up.
"Jacob?" his wife's voice called out. He could tell by the familiar
tap of her heels on the tile floor, something a man in love could
never forget. "Are you in here?"
Jacob remained silent as the tap stopped right before his unlocked
stall door. "Jacob, Ah need ta talk to you, are in here?"
"Yes, Hollis, I'm in here..."
Hollis opened the stall door and looked at her husband. "Jacob, you
are a mess ... can Ah get you a wet paper towel?"
"Yes..." he growled out. "Please."
Hollis smiled a bit as she ran the water over the paper towel. "Ah
figured you were in here ... Ah remember every time your mother came
over for dinner. You two would argue, and afterwards, you'd be in
the bathroom, puking your guts out, and Ah'd be there, handing to
wet towels to clean you up with, and tell you that it was all right
ta stand up for yourself." Hollis kneeled down by Jacob and began
to wipe his face. "Just like old times."
Jacob looked into his wife's eyes as she cleaned him. "I just want
to know why, Holl."
"You know why, Jacob--"
"Your affairs didn't bother me, Hollis, and you know it." Jacob rested
his chin on the lid of the toilet. "You know I loved you. Pathetically."
Hollis nodded. "And Ah loved you, Jacob--"
"Then why did you leave?"
Hollis took a deep breath before picking up Jacob's head off the
toilet. "Ah was a failure, Jacob. It was only a matter of time until
Ah got caught."
"'Caught?' Did my mother catch you? My God, Holl, I knew she always
suspected you were having affairs, but for her to catch you--"
Hollis shook her head and smiled. "She didn't catch me. If she did,
Ah wouldn't be standing here breathing." Hollis paused as she felt
her smile go away. "William's boy did."
Jacob blinked. "Bobby?"
"But he was only seven, how could he have--?"
"William and Ah were always so careful; the boy had practice from
4:00 ta 5:30 after school and Maddy was always out doing something
or other, and that's when ... well, one day, the boy didn't have practice,
and came home right after school and saw his father and..." Hollis
took a quick breath. "After that, William said that he couldn't do
this any more, and Ah felt so bad that Ah confessed everything to
your mother. After talking ta her, the choice was obvious."
Jacob slowly nodded his head. "Why didn't you ever call me, Holl?
To talk to me, talk to the kids?"
"Ah was ashamed ... Ah still am. Ah only came back because Ah thought
mah son needed me...Ah should have known that none of you need me
"I do. I still love you, Holl..."
Hollis slowly and tearfully nodded. "Me, too..."
"...not getting to be the girls softball manager, varsity and junior
varsity ... never making out with Julia Sparks in the ninth grade
... never talking to Julia Sparks in the ninth grade ... talking to
Julia Sparks in the tenth grade and finding out she was a lesbian
... realizing later in the tenth grade that Julia Sparks was really
heterosexual and thought I was repulsive..."
"Holland, what are you so angry about in life?" Holland jolted in
her seat. "Gary, I was this close to falling asleep!"
"Is it that you resent your son?"
Holland growled and banged her fist on the dash. "Of course not!
I love Gilberto! And who the hell are you to ask me?!"
"I'm the other pea in your pod, Holland."
Gary shushed her. "But we're not talking about that. I'm asking you
what you are so angry about."
"Holland, you want say it, I can tell. You've been waiting to tell
it to someone, and it might as well be me."
"I don't know if I can..."
"Holland Bass, you have called me a nigger-ass-whore without blinking,
so I seriously doubt that there's precious little that you can't say!"
Holland felt a faint blush on her cheeks before opening her mouth.
"I don't know who Gilberto's father is."
Gary blinked a few times and smiled. "What?"
"I said that I don't know who knocked me up, okay?" Holland huffed.
"And what's with the smiling, it's fucking freaky!"
"It's smile therapy. When I have an angry or sad impulse, I smile."
"Did a shrink tell you to do this? Because if you did, you should
really ask for your money back..."
"No, I got it off of Ally McBeal."
"Ally McThinMint...ug." Holland folded her arms across her chest
and looked out the window. "So ... does it work?"
"I'm a lot calmer than what I -- wait. We're not done talking about
you, Holland. Cliff said that your best friend was the one who--"
Holland fiddled with the seat belt to try and take the focus off
of her. "Yeah. Well, that's not what happened."
"Then why did you say that he did?"
"Well, because Andy was safe! I mean, he, uh, went away right after
I found out and it was just air tight, you know?"
Gary wrinkled his brow. "He died, too?"
"Yeah," Holland snorted. "Another one bites the dust."
Gary placed his hand over Holland's. "Look, Holland, I know how it
is. I've had people leaving me all my life, too. My mom gave me away
when I was born and I've been shuffled around from home to temporary
home. When I found my real family, only Gene would speak to me. I
guess a black relative that they never even thought they had was just
a bit too much."
Gary squinted. "So what?"
Holland pursed her lips and huffed. "Aren't you going to say that
it's going to get better, and that it's wrong to be so angry or something
about sunshine, rainbows, and happy little bunnies?"
Gary laughed. "Hell, no! I mean, talk about calling the kettle black,
Holland, my temper is worse than yours, and my mouth as bad!"
Holland stared at him. "You're kidding?"
"Hand to God, Holland, hand to God."
Holland clucked her tongue. "But you always look so ... calm ...
and collected ... and so damn happy..."
Gary shrugged. "It's a great effort on my part, Holland, believe
me. I'm telling you, we're two peas in a pod."
"What are those guys doing?"
"You mean those nicely built young men?"
"Yeah. What gives?"
"They're looking for Bert."
"But Bert split with Holland and Gary."
Nan grinned. "I know."
"Then why--" Jubilee stopped herself as one of the well built men
bent down to look underneath a table, calling out Bert's name. Jubilee's
mouth opened up jest enough for her to let out one sound. "Oh...!"
"...Grandpa Seth dying ... Dad nearly dying ... Jean dying ... Jean
dying again ... thinking Jean had died but was really alive ... thinking
Warren was dead ... Warren changing ... Warren not wanting to talk
to me anymore..." Bobby slammed his fist into his hand. "Damn it,
it's not like you have a lack of things to cry about, so cry already,
Gary was silent for a minute before continuing on. "I know you don't
like yourself much, Holland."
"I-yes-kinda...!" Holland sucked on her lip. "Fine. I'm not happy
with my life, but there's no way I can change it overnight!"
"The hell you can't, Holland!" Gary sighed. "Look, all you have to
do is focus on what you like best about it and try to get rid of some
of the negativity. What do you like least about your life, Holland?"
"I ... I can't. Shit, this is horrible..."
"Say it!" Gary roared.
"I don't want to live with Nana anymore," Holland squeaked out, eyes
wide at Gary's sudden aggression.
Gary smiled. "Then don't."
"But I need to take care of her!"
"Then take care of her, but live elsewhere!"
"Yeah, I can do that on my non-existent salary!"
"You could move in with me, then."
Holland went blank. "What?"
"I need the company, Holland. You need to get away. And I think we
could actually be good friends ... don't you?"
"Well..." Holland fumbled around for something mean and hostile to
say, but what came out was the truth. "Yes, I do, but I just can't
move like that!"
"Because ... because I can't think of a good reason not to ... fuck."
Gary grinned. "I'll take it that means that we're going to be the
Odd Couple for the millennium!"
Holland glared. "God, Gary, that word is so twentieth century..."
"...Cloud rejecting me for Moondragon ... Moondragon ... Moondragon..."
Bobby felt something. "Damn, just disgust!" Bobby sighed and continued.
Jacob walked out of the bathroom, waving good-bye to his wife. "Well,
Mom, Jubilee, are we ready to go?"
Nan waved her hand to Jacob. "In a minute, son." She cleared her
throat and spoke loudly, "Oh, I'm so sorry boys! My grandson left
with his mother earlier ... drat this old memory of mine ... I just
get so tired and all that..."
One of the men came to her side. "Do you need help going to your
car, Mrs. Bass?"
Nan smiled coyly. "Would you help me ... what did you say your name
"Yes, George, right. Help me to the car...?"
Guy looked over to Jubilee and Jacob to make sure it was all right,
along with whether or not Nan was all right before going to the parking
lot with Nan Bass on his arm.
"So, Jubilee, are you all packed to go back to school tomorrow?"
Jubilee shook her head. "I still have some time left..."
"Your plane leaves at six a.m....!"
Jubilee nodded. "Uh huh, six hours to sleep, pack, shower, eat, get
to the airport. Dude, sir, I'm golden."
Jacob just shook his head as he watched his wife slink out of the
"You and the bi--wife work everything out?"
"Well, some ... I think," Jacob stammered. "It's tentative, but,
uh, I think it'll turn out all right..."
"What does your mother think?"
Jacob let out a small grunt. "What doesn't my mother think?"
Jubilee smiled. "Exactly ... she's not going to like this..."
"Mom never liked Hollis at all ... all the time me and her were together,
I never got a moment of peace from her." Jacob picked up his coat
and opened the door for Jubilee. "But Mom is going to have to learn
that there are some things she's just going to have to live with..."
Jubilee nodded. "Just as long as you have a toilet nearby."
"...Opal ... Opal's fashion sense ... Opal's art ... Opal's idea
of a good time ... Opal's love of a solo David Lee Roth ... loving
Opal ... Opal not loving me ... Opal calling me shallow ... Opal calling
me an immature jerk ... Opal calling me an immature jerk in front
of people ... Opal telling me that I neglected her ... Opal neglecting
me ... Opal telling me that I meant nothing to her ... Opal telling
me she never loved me ... finding out that Opal cheated on me ...
never getting over Opal..." Bobby finally felt a wetness in his eyes
and began to let it all out.
"Bobby?" Jubilee knocked on the door. Jubilee entered after there
was no answer. "Bobby, are you in here?"
Bobby brought himself to a sitting position on his bed and quickly
dried his eyes. "I was taking a nap, Jubilee..."
Jubilee crossed her arms. "If that's what you'd like to call it.
Bobby shook his head in the darkness.
"Do you want me to leave you alone?"
Bobby shook his head again.
Jubilee sat herself next to Bobby on the bed placed a hand on his
back as Bobby brought his head to his hands.
The Official Cook Book of "God...er, Dog", with recipes from the cast
of the story and some other fictives. Contributing authors including
Kaylee, ValKerrie, and myself.
Also, I just want to thank all of you who have written me feedback
and comments that ranged from what you liked, didn't like, and how
badly you wanted Holland to be smacked ;) Really, from the bottom
of my heart, thank you!
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