**Mice's "God...er, Dog" Disclaimer**
Mice is in no way associated with the Marvel Comics Group. The characters
of Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy and Jubilee, belong to the Marvel Comics
Group. Holland, Jacob, Bert, Cliff, Hollis, Annie, Gary, Gene, Lucy,
Peaches, Jentelle, Chad, and Nan are of my own mind. If you want to
e-mail her comments or if you'd like to archive this series, do it
at firstname.lastname@example.org. You'll
get some brownies out of the deal, but it's not really that great
of a reward because she can't cook.
This story is currently being archived at:
The Wolverine and Jubilee Page (http://www.wolverineandjubilee.com)
The X-Zone (http://www.geocities.com/shatter_star15/xzone.html)
God ... er, Dog
Gene Ginsberg sat himself at the piano. "Now, uh..."
"Jentelle; soft J, outrageous elle."
Gene coughed. "Jentelle, yes. What song are you going to be doing
for our Cliff?"
"Well, my selection for tonight will be 'Enough is Enough.'"
"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're gay, am I correct?"
Jentelle nodded and smiled brightly. "What gave me away?"
Jentelle laughed and patted his tummy. "Well, Britney said, "If you
have it, flaunt it!""
"Or something like that..."
Hank McCoy busily licked his fingers clean in the privacy of his
lab. The Great Twinkie Famine of 2000 had been some hard times, but
now, he was reaping the rewards in the form of golden sponge cake
and creamy filling.
A giggle broke his meditative process. "Oh, if Dateline could
see the world famous Dr. Hank McCoy now!"
Hank wiped his fingers on his lab coat. "Actually, Stone Phillips
is an even bigger Twinkie lover than yours truly."
Annie pursed her lips, placed her hands on her hips, and began to
tap her foot in mock amusement.
Hank grinned. "Now, my dear Miss Peckenpaugh, I'd like to think that
you tore yourself away from your studies for more than to tease this
"Oh, listen to you! About to turn thirty-one--"
Hank took off his glasses and looked her in the eyes. "Annie?"
Annie's face went blank. "Oh, that's right, I came in here to talk
Hank nodded. "About?"
Annie pursed her lips again in frustration. "I can't say I remember,
Annie narrowed her eyes. "Are you ever going to get past this whole
laughing at me thing?"
"Forgive me, Annie, but I have always held it in my firmest belief
that God didn't set out to be the creator of a universe but a comedian.
It explains you perfectly.
Annie nervously began to play with the strings of her red hooded
sweatshirt, bowing her head. "I'm not all that funny..."
Hank smiled at her. "I think you are."
Nan honked the horn once more. "If he isn't here in one minute, I'm
With fifteen seconds to spare, a powder blue-clad Bobby came out
of the house, and Jubilee was able to let go of the nervous breath
she held. "So, Bobby, you get to talk ta Big Blue?"
"Na, just got Annie again." Bobby rolled his eyes as he put on his
seat belt. "Hank'll never get the message."
Bobby sighed. "Jubilee, what do you know about Annie Peckenpaugh?"
"She's a hick."
"I don't think you can be a hick if you come from Wyoming."
"And I don't think you can be a good driver and go on about some
hick from Wyoming, Robert," Nana huffed.
Jubilee mentally thanked Nan before going on. "Take it from someone
who's actually lived on the west side of the country, okay you lame
excuse for a pudding pop? The only people who are not hicks in the
west are the ones whose state borders the Pacific, okay? So, you got
your Oregon, your Washington, and your California, okay? Not hicks,
"Now, Idaho, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Montana, and Wyoming?
Bobby tapped his hands nervously on the steering wheel and looked
to Nan to see what she thought. Nan caught his eye. "She's a hick,
Robert, now pay attention the road!"
"Okay! Well, then...besides from being a 'hick'--"
"I heard those quote marks, Drake!"
"Nana, did I--"
"YES, Robert, YES! Now, will you pay attention to the road?"
Bobby rolled his eyes for the millionth time that day. "All right,
all right. Jubilee, I'll tell you later." The car was dead silent
until Bobby reached for the radio.
Nan slapped his hand. "No radio, it's distracting."
Jentelle paced nervously in the restaurant. "Gary, have you seen
Gary shook his head and held up his dog. "I'm more concerned about
who put this sweater on Lucy," Gary narrowed his eyes. "As should
the person who did it..."
Gary began to walk off, but Jentelle followed. "You don't understand,
I'm doing a duet for Cliff, and Chad is going to be Barbara! You can't
do 'Enough is Enough' with just Donna, it's a battle of divas!"
"Which is why you got Chad to do it?" Gary stated flatly.
"Underneath that straight laced accountant is a woman just waiting
to get out!"
Gary began to rub his temples and plastered a smile on his face as
he went over to his grandfather. "Pop, this is going to be the death
Gene turned to his grandson and put a frail arm on his shoulder.
"But they're your friends, too, Gary..."
"I know, I know," Gary groaned. "But with Cliff--"
"He calmed you down?" Gene finished for him.
"Yeah," he added softly. "Don't know if you noticed, but the one
thing all our friends have in common is that they're all high strung--"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT?!" Jentelle screamed at
a middle aged man in a brown business suit.
"Now, honey, I understand that you're upset, but the dress you pulled
out for me is just too revealing!"
"But it looks good on you!"
Gary held his hands up in defeat.
Holland walked into the restaurant with her mother dragging her.
"Mom, this dress is tight--"
"And is that any way ta thank me for helping you look simply beautiful?"
Holland smiled. "You think I look pretty?"
"If you'd stop complaining and suck in your stomach, yes."
Holland began to wish for her grandmother's company.
Jacob walked into the restaurant with a feeling of dread. He knew
his son was gay and he was as proud of him as he always was, "But
do I have to be proud of an entire room?"
Jentelle rushed over to him. "Hi, there, honey! Listen, you wouldn't
happen to be a fan of Barbara's, would you?"
Jacob narrowed his eyes. "Is that what you people are calling yourselves
Jentelle huffed her chest and ran to another man who was milling
"Hi, there, Mr. Bass!"
Jacob turned around to find the ever perky Peaches. "Well, Peaches
Ann Herb, will you look at you! Last time I saw you, you were just
graduating high school! What are you doing now?"
Peaches motioned to the restaurant. "I took over the family business,
and I must say that it is doing extremely well, though I know how
it could do better, of course..."
"And how is that?"
"You could convince that best friend of mine and daughter of yours
that she should work for me!"
Jacob's face went blank. "Not to cook, right?"
Peaches smiled. "I'm not even that naive, Mr. Bass!"
"Not to wait tables, you know what a short temper she has, Peaches!"
"Now you're just trying to make me laugh!" Peaches grinned. "Mr.
Bass, I'm talking about Holly singing here."
Jacob nodded slowly. "She would do so well at that..."
"I could work around her schedule with Gilberto and I could pay her
well, not to mention the tips! You should see what our current singer
gets and, not to be a meany or anything, she's really, really stinky."
Peaches latched on to one of Jacob's arms. "Please, Mr. Bass! She
won't listen to me!"
"I'll see what I can do, Peaches." Jacob gave the girl a hug when
he saw his daughter and wife walk in. "Oh my..." he said softly.
Hollis caught Jacob's eye and hurried to a seat. Holland came over
towards him. "Hi, Dad."
Jacob smiled sadly. "The dress your mother's?"
Holland nodded. "It's nice, right?"
"Your mother has good taste," Jacob added wistfully. "How is she,
Holly? Do you think she'd let me talk to her?"
"I ... well, I don't know -- oh no."
"What is it, Holly?"
"Nana just walked in."
Jacob's mouth went dry and excused himself to go to the bathroom.
"Whoa, look at Jacob bolt to that bathroom!"
"Nana, that's not a very nice thing to say..."
"Robert, that's the privilege of old age. When you get here, you
can be as rude as you want and still get 10% off your dinner at Denny's
"Still don't think it's fair to make fun of Uncle Jacob ... you know
how he hates confrontation ... he's nervous about what'll happen when
you see ... her," Bobby said unsteadily for he himself didn't know
what he was going to do upon seeing ... her.
Just then, someone grabbed Bobby by the arm and hauled him off.
Bobby turned around and saw his cousin, nervously biting her lip.
"Holland! What is it why--" Bobby interrupted himself as he realized
exactly where he was. "I can't be in the ladies room!"
Holland rolled her eyes. "Bobby, there are exactly five women here
who can truthfully call themselves that, and only one of them is in
here. It's all right."
Bobby grunted. "All right then, why did you want to speak to me?
Holland bit her lip. "I'm conflicted."
"You're just now realizing this?"
Holland stamped her foot. "Bobby, I'm being serious!" Holland took
a deep breath before beginning again. "Bobby ... I'm beginning to
"I don't want to sound repetitive, but--"
Holland held up her arms in defense. "I know, I know, I know! I have
no real right to be angry at her, but she makes me so made sometimes,
and that just makes me feel guilty! I HATE feeling guilty!"
Bobby blinked a few times before finding the appropriate answer.
"Bobby, I have no reason to feel all this rage against her!"
"'No rage?' Holland, are you forgetting that she abandoned you--"
Holland placed a hand over Bobby's mouth to quiet him. "Bobby, I
know why she left. Daddy told me a long time ago."
Bobby's eyes blazed as Holland released her hand from his mouth.
"And you're not raising any hell about it? You, out of all people?!"
"I can't blame her, Bobby. I actually look up to her because of it!"
Bobby went to the wall and banged his head on it before returning
to the conversation. "I can't believe you, Holland! You know what
she did is wrong!"
Holland placed her hands on her hips and restrained herself from
getting into a fist fight with her cousin. "It was her patriotic duty!"
Bobby raged. "To sleep with my father?!"
Holland's face softened as Bobby's soft echo lingered in the ladies
room. "What?" she cried out in a meek voice.
Bobby's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I thought you said
you knew, I..." Bobby's voice trailed off in a vain search to make
sense out of it all.
Holland shook her head. "It's not true, Bobby, that's a lie! Why
would my mother--" Holland shook her head more violently. "No. Whoever
told you that was lying!"
"Holland," Bobby began in a low, even voice. "No one told me."
"I ... I saw them."
"But it can't be true! You must have been dreaming and thought it
was real and--"
Bobby shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably. "That's what I thought
for the longest, Holland, but my father and I talked about it recently
... it was no hallucination, it was real."
Holland began to pace around, trying to understand. "But Dad said
she had to go into the witness protection program because she had
testified against some Mafia people, and that's why we moved and she
went away ... I never thought that or could ever think..." Holland
began to cry. Bobby pulled out a pale blue handkerchief from his pocket
and handed it to her to dry her eyes, though when she looked up to
speak to him, they were still wet.
"That bitch. All these years I thought that she was a good person.
I let her back into my life so goddamn easily because I thought she
was a good person. Bobby, I let her cut my hair and boss me around
about my clothes and life and other assorted shit because I thought
she was a good person. I--" Holland closed her eyes. "That bitch."
Bobby took Holland's hand and helped clean her face. "Holl, don't
do anything rash yet, all right?" Holland turned away from her cousin.
"Bobby..." Holland began in a weak voice. "I always thought that
my mother loved me and if she could be with me, she would. I thought
the least I could do for her now, when she came back to me, was to
love her unconditionally they way she did ... the way I thought she
did..." Holland slid her way to the floor and began to cry again,
and in the tiniest voice that Bobby had ever heard from his roaring
lion of a cousin, said, "Why doesn't my mom love me?"
Bobby helped her clean up once more and they made their way out of
After making sure that Bobby and his cousin had left, Jubilee unlocked
the stall door she was in and finally began to breathe regularly again,
staring at the room in awe of what had just transpired.
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