Disclaimer: On behalf of myself, and the
characters in this story who have all been borrowed without permission,
I would like to thank Marvel, who owns them, for not suing me, which
we all know would be pointless, since I am making no money from this...
In the unlikely event that anyone should ever wish to archive this,
please ask first.
Continuity: This story takes place in a version of the Marvel
Universe much like the regular one. However, in this universe, Sidney
Drosselmier / Morph (the mutant formerly and also known as Changeling)
is alive and has been a member of the X-men for a while. Happy Happy
Joy Joy, eh?
Warning: This story occasionally contains language which the
ridiculously oversensitive may find offensive.
Note: Pretty much everything I know about Morph I learnt from
the AOA, so if I've completely mischaracterised him - um, sorry. Feel
free to let me know what I did wrong and I shall endeavour to do better.
Speaking of which...
FEEDBACK! Send me some! You know you want to! Oh yes...
by Poi Lass
Part One: You Shall Go To The Ball...
It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.
The Hellfire Club had thrown a party. The X-Men had decided to gatecrash
it. Use it as cover for some snooping around, some checking up on
Sebastian Shaw, some breaking into computer files. Scott Summers,
fearless leader of the Uncanny X-men, looked around at everything
going to hell, and wished he'd never suggested it...
"The last time we confronted Shaw, he seemed to know an awful
lot about the X-men, and our recent activites. We need to know what
they know about us. And how they know." Scott had said.
"Exactly! Then we'll know what they know about what we know
as soon as we know what it is that they know!" Morph had offered
in support. And Scott had wished, as Scott often did, that he could
leave Morph at home.
But here and now, he was glad he hadn't. They'd managed, embarassingly,
to run into a group of psi-shielded security personel before they'd
even been in the building five minutes.
He punched another guard out, not wanting to use his optic blast
and risk triggering more alarms.
<Jean. Does the Hellfire Club know we're here yet?> He spoke
to his wife through their psionic rapport.
<The Inner Circle are all busy in the ballroom, I don't think
anyone's got past us to tell them yet. But with the security systems
we shut down reactivated, and the guards on alert -->
<-- We should probably leave, unless we want a firefight. Right.
Well, that's a week's planning gone down the toilet. I hate when that
<I should think you'd be used to it by now, dear.>
<Cute. Let's just go. We'll have to leave through the ballroom,
that should still by relatively unguarded.>
<The ballroom? -But Scott - it's full of people-->
<Exactly. Shaw won't risk starting anything, if he even sees us
in the crowd. It would ruin his rep as an honest businessman. And
you can mask us psionically. Tell Morph he's on distraction duty,
they don't know his face. Whichever one he's using today...>
<Done.> She smiled at Morph's ebullient response as she telepathically
informed him of his misson. <Do you want to know what he said?>
<Under no circumstances.> Scott replied sourly. Jean filled
the rest of the X-men in on the plan, and they moved out.
The X-men hovered outside the ballroom, hidden, for the moment, by
Jean's telepathic abilities.
"Okay Morph. You're on." Scott nodded at him. Logan grabbed
his shoulder, stopping Morph with a wave of his hand.
"Hang on a sec Cyke. I mean - they might not know his face -
but they've got to know his powers, right? As soon as he starts morphing
someone's gonna catch a clue and realise the rest of us are here too.The
Inner Circle aren't all complete idiots."
"So - I dunno, maybe Sid should try not to be as -- obvious
-- with his powers as usual. Pretend to be some other kind of mutant
or - um - something..." Bobby trailed off, but Morph looked far
more impressed by this than the vague suggestion really deserved.
"Bobby! You're a wonder! You're a marvel! Let me give you a
big ol' -" Morph threw his arms wide and launched himself at
the other man. Who ducked.
"NO! Damn it Morph, will you stop that?" Bobby hissed.
Morph missed him and landed on the floor.
"Wasser matter? Don'tya love me anymore?" Sidney's face
changed, his eyes suddenly wide, protruding and pathetic, as he looked
woefully up at Bobby.
"No, I don't! I mean - I never loved you - Can we get
off this subject please?" Bobby sighed.
Morph had recently decided that Bobby Drake was the love of his life,
and had, with admirable dedication, set about trying to win his heart.
At first he'd tried being subtle about it.
Subtle didn't work. Probably because he wasn't very good at it. Then
he tried obvious, flamboyant and annoying, which didn't work either,
but which he had a lot more natural talent for. It was also a lot
more fun for the watching X-men, who had taken to betting on what
Morph would do next to try and prove his love, and how long it would
be until Bobby tried to kill him for making one of his increasingly
embarrassing protestations of eternal devotion in public...
"Morph, shut up and get going." Logan impatiently grabbed
the shifter by the back of his bizzarely colourful costume and pushed
him towards the door.
As he was pushed through the door, Morph abruptly transformed into
a handsome man wearing a tuxedo.
He wandered away from the door where the X-men were waiting their
chance to escape, smiling and chatting with elegantly dressed people
as he made his way to the other side of the room. He looked around
for inspiration on how to create the distraction. So many possiblities,
so little time...
Got it. he thought smugly, homing in on one of the ball's
<Jean, what is he going to do?> Cyclops asked his wife nervously,
as they watched Morph strike up a conversation with a hideously dressed
<I thought you didn't want to know.>
<Just be patient Scott. I'm sure we'll all find out soon enough.>
<Oh what fun...>
"Is this real fur? What sort is it?" Sidney politely asked
the woman, who had a fur cloak still draped over her shoulders.
"Ah. Perfect." Morph beamed at her, and then ripped the
cloak from the woman's shoulders and threw it from himself, yelling
"Run, little minks, run free like the wind! Return to the wild!
Be fruitful and multiply!" The fur cloak, surreptitiously supported
by Sidney's morphed foot, picked itself up and tore across the room.
The woman screamed and all eyes in the room turned towards her - and
the apparently resurrected minks.
The cloak came to a stop a short distance from Morph, but he had
already gained the attention of the entire ballroom. He grabbed a
foxfur from around the neck of another guest, and leapt up onto the
He held the foxfur up by what was once it's neck.
"All right! Everybody listen up, or the fox gets it!" he
looked at the fur dangling from his hand. "No wait, that won't
Cyclops hid his face in his hands.
"Got it." Morph said triumphantly. He stroked the fur,
and it blurred, suddenly seeming alive, as, with an impenetrable sleight
of hand, he morphed his arm into a fox. "Everybody listen up,
- or the fox gets dinner!" The suddenly animated fox in his arms
growled and bared its teeth at the guests. As one, they stepped back,
gasping. Morph exchanged a meaningful glance with the `animal'. He
"Sic `em girl!" He let it go, and the `fox' shot out of
his arms to go cause havoc among the guests. They were too busy running
for the door to notice it was still attached to Morph, and soon melded
back into him.
Morph continued haranguing the crowd about the evils of wearing -
or eating - dead animals, who would always return to reap their revenge;
morphing his feet into the live versions of whatever food he kicked
off the table, and sending them out to bite people. The X-men slipped
into the crowd, still masked by Jean, and headed for the door - along
with most of the guests.
Then a dark haired woman with a look of concentration on her face
approached Sebastian Shaw, who was trying to get at Morph without
revealing his own powers.
<Morph! That's Tessa, she's a tepe. I can't keep her from contacting
Shaw much longer. Take care of her before she tells him we're here.>
Jean sent urgently.
Sidney picked up an hors d'oeurve from the table, and clamped it
ostentatiously in his fist. As he leapt down he morphed his hand,
into a hand holding a large salmon.
"The fish-slapping dance!" he cried gleefully, hitting
Tessa over the head with the fish. The telepath fell unconscious into
Shaw's arms. Morph threw the hors d'oeurve at Shaw, who stared at
him in disbelief as it glanced off his chest.
"Swim upstream, my fishy brother!" Morph yelled at the
bite-sized snack, and dived for the punch bowl to send purple rain
down the security guards coming for him before losing himself in the
The X-men slipped out of the ballroom, and the Hellfire Club, unnoticed,
although several of them almost choked to death trying to stop laughing
at the look on Shaw's face.
"Note to self," Scott muttered under his breath, as he
strangled his own grin. "Never let Morph do the distraction again."
The fish slapping dance belongs to Monty Python,
and Morph gratefully thanks them for the loan.
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